The Three Types of Youth

1. Youth - boards your bus in a approachable, friendly manner. He or she might have a face like a pizza and there could be either too much eau de toilette or body odour, but otherwise the encounter is perfectly acceptable. He or she may even try and pay with the correct fare.

2. Errant Youth - board your bus with something of a swagger. He or she will usually try and slip you a £20 note for a £1 fare but in a manner that looks as if they're working for MI5. They turn away when eye contact is needed and you consider keeping them in your view throughout the journey.

3. Feral Youth - complete and utter arse holes. They're trouble from the start. Cocky and obnoxious when then board. One will probably have his hand down his slag's blouse or she'll have her hand in her geeza's zipper. They'll smell of cannabis and will blow smoke in your face as they begrudge not being able to indulge in contracting cancer while in your air space.

I had Errant Youth on today, though I felt that they could move into the Feral category while the journey unfolded. They had attitude as they showed me their return tickets and made no eye contact. There were four of them travelling together on separate tickets. As they made their way to the (you guessed it) back of the single-decker, they rang every bell in sight. This needed nipping in the bud. Basic psychology at its best.

I politely stopped the following passengers from boarding and left my cab. I walked about half way down and shouted at them all that I was coming to throw them all off. Now this could have ended in a passenger calling 999 for me but this was a calculated risk owing to where these youths were travelling and their underlying accents not being of 'da ghetto'.

They fell silent. I returned to the front and as I re-entered the cab, added, "And I mean it!" Silence, again.

As I mentioned earlier in the week, when a potential trouble causer knows that his bus driver is one who is quite happy to leave the cab and get his hands dirty, you have a massive advantage. I'm also not built like Peewee Herman, so have a physical bluff to add.

Common Sense Solution: Bus companies should take a hard line on passengers who think it acceptable to cause trouble on their buses. They should offer unqualified support and backing to the driver, irrespective of the situation. They'll happily employ the driver to collect their money, but don't always seem too keen to believe in his judgement. Absolute zero tolerance would cause plenty of problems initially, while those who believe it acceptable to play music out loud or to board your vehicle with shit running down their legs attempting to cause all sorts of PR nightmare scenarios for the operator, but a firm line and it will be overcome. This will pay dividends in the long-term as I personally believe that a higher percentage share will be had when car drivers know that they will not encounter troublesome youths or drunken neanderthals aboard their local bus.