Chocolate Legs

Today's incident has sparked this blog, if I'm honest.

An elderly woman with shit running down her legs as she got off my bus is too much for me. I felt physically sick and the very wrong smell that I had been sniffing for the past minute or two revealed itself.

The lady in question, thankfully, only travels one stop (about 0.3 miles). She has a free bus pass and a moustache. She walks like she is in a permanent state of intoxication, though it is never intoxicating liquor she smells of. Also in my favour is that she chooses to stand for the one-stop journey into town.

She got off my bus today while I was stood at some red traffic lights. I chose to let her off as the niff today was worse than usual. She left and crossed the road in front of me. As she walked away, the vision of diarrhoea running down her legs was clear for all to see.

I spoke to my manager about this and he said that he will 'look into banning her', though he wasn't as enthusiastic as he should have been. Perhaps I ought to ask her to take a seat the next time she travels and wait for the complaints to come in when passengers literally soil their garments.

I have decided to take unilateral action the next time I see her - if, as she boards, Mars Bars appear to be tricking down her smelly, lilly white legs, she will be refused travel. If not, she will be allowed travel provided she stands to her stop, and that she is travelling no further.

Common Sense Solution: Management with the balls to say no to a passenger. There are a number of reasons why my boss didn't say to bar her outright. She travels 0.3 miles yet we receive in reimbursement rate the same amount for that journey as we would for someone who travelled the full length of the route. Also, banning someone could end up with a story in the local paper. He would then have to respond and say why she was banned and a story about a shit-stained bus does the company image no favours at all. Regardless of all this, there is a minimum standard to which all bus passengers must meet. This woman falls short by a considerable amount and should be banned *without question*.