Well the Olympics seem an age ago. As does the Paralympics. Back to work, things soon got back to normal with the utter bollocks some people say and do.
Take today. Two examples for people just being wankers.
Firstly, someone who looked older than 65 flagged me down to stop for them. This I did as I had a number of people getting off at the same stop. Some of them were fat so he was unable to get on as they waddled off. He tried to shout his destination to me in a ridiculous football chant fashion, which similar to football in general, I ignored, choosing to say "Thanks!" to those leaving the bus.
For some reason the old git assumed his bellows had been all received and understood and that as I'd not issued him a ticket or asked him to tender any money in a similar shout-as-loud-as-you-fucking-can manner back, he smiled, nodded and walked straight past me.
What the fuck?
Naturally, he was called back and made to state his destination in a calm manner and then tender some money. It was a very bizarre situation.
Second was a mother and child who tried to bring two boxes of take-away noodles on my bus. We do not allow food to be brought onto the bus, but I often let sandwiches etc go, and tow the party line when it comes to hot food, such as burgers, KFC, noodles...
As it was 1 minute until I was due to leave and the next bus wasn't for 30 mins, I told the mother than we don't allow hot food on the bus but as I was ready to leave I'd let it go on this occasion.
"Oh!" she said, somewhat puzzled. "We're not going to eat them."
So you've bought stone cold noodles then?
I explained that the act of her eating wasn't what was outlawed and that it was the smell associated with this type of food that makes people feel ill as there's no escaping it in such a confined space.
The dozy fucking cow then leaned towards one of the boxes, sniffed it and said "It smells nice to me!" Oh no you fucking don't sunshine.
Just for that I chose not to give her the benefit of the doubt and had a very illustrated discussion at the front of the bus about how she either threw the noodles away or waited another 30 minutes to catch the next bus as she and her daughter ate them.
For god's sake I was initially letting her off, just pointing out the rules. We have stickers just behind the driver that clearly shows no food, alcohol or music. Well her cockiness meant that she had a choice and she chose not to travel and to wait for the next bus.
That was the first thing she'd got right so far!
Common Sense Solution: It boils down to having to tow the party line in the case of the latter. Often the guys I work with will let things go and the passenger then thinks this is the norm. Sometimes you need to be Mr. Unpopular in order for a bit of peace in the long-term. In the case of the former, in order to accommodate him you have to be less polite by ignoring passengers who are saying 'thanks' and 'bye' as they leave your bus and I'm not prepared to do that. I might be a cunt, but I'm a polite cunt to anyone who's polite to me. Will this old guy learn? Possibly not, because he is old.
Monday 1 October 2012
Friday 27 July 2012
An Olympic Cock-Up
With the Olympic Games opening ceremony taking place today, I thought it good to mention how I was affected by the Olympic Torch Relay at some point during its parade around the country. To be fair, though, the problems surrounding road closures and curtailed journeys weren't too bad - my company had unusually done their homework and had quite a tight set of schedules in operation and had given a good fortnight's notice of the changes on both their website and on board their vehicles.
Of course there are still going to be people who are caught out. That's life. I suppose you could shoot them all in the head, but suddenly your employer would notice a reduction in revenue, as so many thick people use the bus.
On the day I was affected I had to operate a wholly different route within this suburb of a much larger town. The diversion saw me use a parallel road to the one I'd normally use. Unfortunately for me, I was driving the diversion as the crowds that had gathered to watch the Olympic Flame pass by were heading home both on foot and by car. The linear road was a like an assault course of parked cars that I needed to weave in and out of, with lots of cars parked on either sides of the road.
There are no bus stops along this road as buses don't use it normally and passengers had been told the hail the bus at a safe point. No one hailed me that I knew of and as I got to the end of the road I had to stop at some traffic lights. I heard a very loud knocking at my doors. A guy was stood there so I let him board.
"Didn't you see me stood back there?" he said, breathlessly.
"No. Where were you stood?"
"Opposite the supermarket. There aren't any bus stops down her you know!"
"Oh right. Did you put your hand out?"
"I didn't think I needed to!"
Now that says at all. Baring in mind over 1,000 people were returning home from watching the torch, the majority of which were using this road, and this guy thinks he can just stand by the kerb and the bus driver will somehow psychically know that he wants the bus.
Common Sense Solution: You have to ignore people like this. If common sense doesn't dictate to you that you need to physically hail a bus to stop it on a diversionary route with no bus stop signs amidst 1000 people milling about then are you really equipped with sufficient life skills to get on in life? Some people simply are not. Does this guy have kids? If so how does he keep the fact that Santa and the Tooth Fairy do not exist? How does he pay his bills on time, organise his life, pass an interview? It's all very amusing really.
Of course there are still going to be people who are caught out. That's life. I suppose you could shoot them all in the head, but suddenly your employer would notice a reduction in revenue, as so many thick people use the bus.
On the day I was affected I had to operate a wholly different route within this suburb of a much larger town. The diversion saw me use a parallel road to the one I'd normally use. Unfortunately for me, I was driving the diversion as the crowds that had gathered to watch the Olympic Flame pass by were heading home both on foot and by car. The linear road was a like an assault course of parked cars that I needed to weave in and out of, with lots of cars parked on either sides of the road.
There are no bus stops along this road as buses don't use it normally and passengers had been told the hail the bus at a safe point. No one hailed me that I knew of and as I got to the end of the road I had to stop at some traffic lights. I heard a very loud knocking at my doors. A guy was stood there so I let him board.
"Didn't you see me stood back there?" he said, breathlessly.
"No. Where were you stood?"
"Opposite the supermarket. There aren't any bus stops down her you know!"
"Oh right. Did you put your hand out?"
"I didn't think I needed to!"
Now that says at all. Baring in mind over 1,000 people were returning home from watching the torch, the majority of which were using this road, and this guy thinks he can just stand by the kerb and the bus driver will somehow psychically know that he wants the bus.
Common Sense Solution: You have to ignore people like this. If common sense doesn't dictate to you that you need to physically hail a bus to stop it on a diversionary route with no bus stop signs amidst 1000 people milling about then are you really equipped with sufficient life skills to get on in life? Some people simply are not. Does this guy have kids? If so how does he keep the fact that Santa and the Tooth Fairy do not exist? How does he pay his bills on time, organise his life, pass an interview? It's all very amusing really.
Sunday 17 June 2012
Complete Waste of Time
The other morning I walked to the bus I had been assigned to start my shift with and noticed while undertaking a defect check that the nearside wingmirror had been smashed. The glass that is, not the arm or the plastic surround. I informed a supervisor who got a mechanic to replace the entire arm, surround and glass as this was the quickest option in the time available. The mechanic would then fix the glass in the comfort of his workshop.
All OK.
Then, during my break, I was approached by a supervisor who said I needed to collect an accident report form and complete it after I'd finished my shift. The reason? An accident had occurred which resulted in the wingmirror glass being smashed. This is completely correct, though I hadn't driven the bloody bus prior to it happening. Clearly one of the people who park the buses up had caused the accident by getting too close with another vehicle and weren't aware of the damage.
But, no, even though checking the CCTV would prove I had nothing to do with it, I had to fill a form in.
To make matters worse I was told to complete all sections with "I have no knowledge of the incident". I refused to as this still implied I was somehow at the helm or responsible. I chose to write "I was not the driver of this vehicle but found the damage upon undertaking a first use inspection".
Nothing got said when I handed the form in and it was another week before I was seen about the incident. Luckily the training man who sees drivers in the first instance to determine whether they are 'at fault' or not saw that this had nothing to do with me.
But what really fucked me off was that he said the accident report form would remain on my personal record and that he had to instruct me to "take more care next time".
TAKE MORE FUCKING CARE NEXT TIME?????????
Are these people real? I had nothing to do with it yet now I have an accident report form on my record and a verbal instruction to take more care next time? Perhaps my employer thinks I'm somehow psychic and willed the accident to happen the evening before I was next to drive the bus?
I protested in the strongest possible terms and was told it was nothing personal and it was something everyone was being instructed to do, whether they're 'at fault' or not.
Well if fucking stinks. So much arse-covering it's unreal. Do you think anyone from the engineering department, tasked to fuel, wash, sweep and park the vehicles in the evening was seen? According to my union rep, whom I've reported the incident to, no they haven't.
So that pissed me right off.
Common Sense Solution: I have a theory: provided no third party is in a position to claim following an altercation, accept the accident report form with grace and complete it. Even put it back in your bag to hand in the following day but never do. At my depot you're only seen when you hand the form in, with the engineering department just fixing buses and not checking with operations that the driver has been seen. If I'd not handed my form in I wouldn't have been seen and wouldn't have a mark against my name on my file and been told to take more care over an accident that probably happened when I was fast asleep in bed the night before! Poxy fucking wanker.s
All OK.
Then, during my break, I was approached by a supervisor who said I needed to collect an accident report form and complete it after I'd finished my shift. The reason? An accident had occurred which resulted in the wingmirror glass being smashed. This is completely correct, though I hadn't driven the bloody bus prior to it happening. Clearly one of the people who park the buses up had caused the accident by getting too close with another vehicle and weren't aware of the damage.
But, no, even though checking the CCTV would prove I had nothing to do with it, I had to fill a form in.
To make matters worse I was told to complete all sections with "I have no knowledge of the incident". I refused to as this still implied I was somehow at the helm or responsible. I chose to write "I was not the driver of this vehicle but found the damage upon undertaking a first use inspection".
Nothing got said when I handed the form in and it was another week before I was seen about the incident. Luckily the training man who sees drivers in the first instance to determine whether they are 'at fault' or not saw that this had nothing to do with me.
But what really fucked me off was that he said the accident report form would remain on my personal record and that he had to instruct me to "take more care next time".
TAKE MORE FUCKING CARE NEXT TIME?????????
Are these people real? I had nothing to do with it yet now I have an accident report form on my record and a verbal instruction to take more care next time? Perhaps my employer thinks I'm somehow psychic and willed the accident to happen the evening before I was next to drive the bus?
I protested in the strongest possible terms and was told it was nothing personal and it was something everyone was being instructed to do, whether they're 'at fault' or not.
Well if fucking stinks. So much arse-covering it's unreal. Do you think anyone from the engineering department, tasked to fuel, wash, sweep and park the vehicles in the evening was seen? According to my union rep, whom I've reported the incident to, no they haven't.
So that pissed me right off.
Common Sense Solution: I have a theory: provided no third party is in a position to claim following an altercation, accept the accident report form with grace and complete it. Even put it back in your bag to hand in the following day but never do. At my depot you're only seen when you hand the form in, with the engineering department just fixing buses and not checking with operations that the driver has been seen. If I'd not handed my form in I wouldn't have been seen and wouldn't have a mark against my name on my file and been told to take more care over an accident that probably happened when I was fast asleep in bed the night before! Poxy fucking wanker.s
Into the Headlights
An observation I've made for many years yet never aired in public is what certain passengers do as you're approaching them at their bus stop. They'll be stood there, but the bus stop sign attached to the pole and may even extend their arm to hail the bus to stop. You will, from a distance, signal your intention to pull over by indicate to the left. You begin to slow down at a level acceptable to be smooth and progressive so that you stop by the bus stop pole and the passenger.
And what do they do? They walk briskly in the direction of the bus, i.e. away from the stop - the point you're aiming for in order to smoothly stop the bus.
Why don't they just wait at the stop? Why do they wander in the direction of the bus, away from the stop?
I continue in the same way I'd previously done, and pass them by and stop by the bus stop pole, where they'd been stood up until 5 seconds ago. They then have to about-turn and wander back. They never say anything, although I wish they would as my response has been formulated well over the past years.
Not everyone does it and it's not usually reserved for retards. Often old and young do it and people in suits. Why? Are they incapable of judging a bus's speed as it's approaching a stop and believe it to stop sooner? Could they be spatially unaware? There must be a reason.
Common Sense Solution: Keep on doing as you have been. Pulling up at the bus stop is always the safest option. Should anything happen at least you have on your side the fact that you stopped in the right place. Never 'stop short' for a made passenger dashing towards you on foot.
And what do they do? They walk briskly in the direction of the bus, i.e. away from the stop - the point you're aiming for in order to smoothly stop the bus.
Why don't they just wait at the stop? Why do they wander in the direction of the bus, away from the stop?
I continue in the same way I'd previously done, and pass them by and stop by the bus stop pole, where they'd been stood up until 5 seconds ago. They then have to about-turn and wander back. They never say anything, although I wish they would as my response has been formulated well over the past years.
Not everyone does it and it's not usually reserved for retards. Often old and young do it and people in suits. Why? Are they incapable of judging a bus's speed as it's approaching a stop and believe it to stop sooner? Could they be spatially unaware? There must be a reason.
Common Sense Solution: Keep on doing as you have been. Pulling up at the bus stop is always the safest option. Should anything happen at least you have on your side the fact that you stopped in the right place. Never 'stop short' for a made passenger dashing towards you on foot.
Saturday 26 May 2012
The Lying Teen
We bus drivers don't just drive buses. We have to uphold our company's rules and regulations. One of which is that passengers pay the requisite fare for the journey they make. Often a passenger will ask what the fare is before tendering the money - possibly because they may not have sufficient on them or that they have the option of a lift if they hang on a little longer.
A fat teen was waiting for my bus today and got on with a suitcase. To me it looked as if she was returning for the summer from university. She asked for a single fare to X. I told her this amount, a little over £3.50. She exclaimed at the cost of the fare and asked if it had increased recently.
"Yes, it went up 10p at the start of the month" I answered.
But she didn't want to hear this. 10p more was nothing compared to what this fat teen claimed I was asking of her.
Then she asked "How much is a child fare?"
Clearly the child fare would be cheaper than the standard, adult fare. On this route you can be up to 17 years old and still pay a child fare. I strongly believed she was in excess of this age and was just using it as a means to reduce the fare. I asked her how old she was.
"Errrr, seventeen" she stumbled. She even apologised and said she didn't know why it took her so long.
Well I knew why - because she was attempting to commit fraud. I could have asked for some ID I suppose, though that's not company policy. Instead I told her the new fare - £2.90, which was still significantly more than she had in her hand.
After much digging about she said "Well I can muster £2.60, soooooooo, there you are."
"But the fare's £2.90".
"Well that's all I've got!"
"Well you need to go to a cash point and catch the next bus in 15 minutes."
"I don't have any cash on my card."
"Well £2.90 is the fare and if you don't pay it the difference comes from my wages and I'm not prepared for that to happen."
In the past I've over-ridden the machine, but was deeply suspicious of this fat teen. She'd acted most oddly when offering up her age and had been travelling during term time - again, possibly a student returning home. I couldn't prove anything, but had my lack of discretion to countenance her likely bullshit.
Amazingly, the empty purse suddenly produced two 20p coins that weren't there before. She possibly felt that £2.60 was all she was prepared to pay for the journey. As she handed the newfound cash over, she said "There you are, now you don't have to be nasty to me anymore."
Nasty - you ain't seen nothing, love.
I gave her one of my favourite lectures about how she couldn't tell Tesco you weren't able to pay the cost of a pack of crisps as you didn't have enough on you. She waddled off to the back of the bus, thighs rubbing together.
Common Sense Solution: Many passengers lie. They somehow see a bus driver as a soft touch. The bus is going from X to Z anyway, so they'll just try and offer a token gesture to travel, whereas at Tesco they can't physically leave the store with their purchases unless they have the right money to pay. Yes, this is life and I have spent much of mine dealing with it. But bus drivers can fight back in ways detailed above. I could have asked for ID to really throw the cat amongst the pigeons. That would almost certainly prove she was not entitled to an adult fare and the higher fare be charged. Even with the additional cash 'suddenly' found, this wouldn't cover it, so she simply would not be eligible to travel. Why should she travel between X and Z for less that the person in front and behind her? I've used this line of argument before as it morally gets the passengers on your side. I've also over-ridden the ticket machine, too, as £2.60 is better than nothing. Admittedly it's not the quoted fare (£2.90) or even the correct fare (£3.50), but it was money when all said and done. And I'd've done this had it not been for her struggling with her age...
A fat teen was waiting for my bus today and got on with a suitcase. To me it looked as if she was returning for the summer from university. She asked for a single fare to X. I told her this amount, a little over £3.50. She exclaimed at the cost of the fare and asked if it had increased recently.
"Yes, it went up 10p at the start of the month" I answered.
But she didn't want to hear this. 10p more was nothing compared to what this fat teen claimed I was asking of her.
Then she asked "How much is a child fare?"
Clearly the child fare would be cheaper than the standard, adult fare. On this route you can be up to 17 years old and still pay a child fare. I strongly believed she was in excess of this age and was just using it as a means to reduce the fare. I asked her how old she was.
"Errrr, seventeen" she stumbled. She even apologised and said she didn't know why it took her so long.
Well I knew why - because she was attempting to commit fraud. I could have asked for some ID I suppose, though that's not company policy. Instead I told her the new fare - £2.90, which was still significantly more than she had in her hand.
After much digging about she said "Well I can muster £2.60, soooooooo, there you are."
"But the fare's £2.90".
"Well that's all I've got!"
"Well you need to go to a cash point and catch the next bus in 15 minutes."
"I don't have any cash on my card."
"Well £2.90 is the fare and if you don't pay it the difference comes from my wages and I'm not prepared for that to happen."
In the past I've over-ridden the machine, but was deeply suspicious of this fat teen. She'd acted most oddly when offering up her age and had been travelling during term time - again, possibly a student returning home. I couldn't prove anything, but had my lack of discretion to countenance her likely bullshit.
Amazingly, the empty purse suddenly produced two 20p coins that weren't there before. She possibly felt that £2.60 was all she was prepared to pay for the journey. As she handed the newfound cash over, she said "There you are, now you don't have to be nasty to me anymore."
Nasty - you ain't seen nothing, love.
I gave her one of my favourite lectures about how she couldn't tell Tesco you weren't able to pay the cost of a pack of crisps as you didn't have enough on you. She waddled off to the back of the bus, thighs rubbing together.
Common Sense Solution: Many passengers lie. They somehow see a bus driver as a soft touch. The bus is going from X to Z anyway, so they'll just try and offer a token gesture to travel, whereas at Tesco they can't physically leave the store with their purchases unless they have the right money to pay. Yes, this is life and I have spent much of mine dealing with it. But bus drivers can fight back in ways detailed above. I could have asked for ID to really throw the cat amongst the pigeons. That would almost certainly prove she was not entitled to an adult fare and the higher fare be charged. Even with the additional cash 'suddenly' found, this wouldn't cover it, so she simply would not be eligible to travel. Why should she travel between X and Z for less that the person in front and behind her? I've used this line of argument before as it morally gets the passengers on your side. I've also over-ridden the ticket machine, too, as £2.60 is better than nothing. Admittedly it's not the quoted fare (£2.90) or even the correct fare (£3.50), but it was money when all said and done. And I'd've done this had it not been for her struggling with her age...
Thursday 19 April 2012
The Lying Bitch
Passengers lie. That's life. Not all of them, but more than your boss will publicly admit. And your boss is in a good position to see this, having fielded all the complaints that, through utilising the CCTV footage, can be proven as bullshit.
A woman who looks like mutton dressed as lamb gets on in a village in an area where her bus pass cannot be used before 9.30am on a weekday. Now she's always paid cash but recently must have turned 60. Equipped with this precious piece of card, she's tries to board at 8am with her pass. The first time she did this, she had a massive row with the relatively new driver, who became very concerned that he was in the wrong, despite knowing otherwise. All went quiet for a number of months but she's started again.
What she doesn't know is that we drivers communicate to each other through a series of grunts. 7 grunts and a squeal means: "That nasty posh tart who's recently turned 60 who gets on at X will try and take the piss with a bus pass and under no circumstances accept it for travel on a weekday."
She's clearly cottoned onto this non-acceptance now, so matters have changed. Her single fare was £2 though with the fares rise last week it is now £2.10 (it's not, but I'm using this to illustrate the actual scenario where her single to town has risen by 10p recently).
She boarded my bus today and put down just £2 and briskly walked off. This despite me telling her the fare was £2.10. I called her back rather loudly as on the first occasion she didn't hear. Back she came and then argued the toss about how I was wrong. I suggested she'd not travelled on the bus since the fares rise but she's on the bus every day and has never been charged £2.10 yet. "All the other drivers can't be wrong, surely?"
"Yes they are. It's £2.10 please," said I, stony faced.
With much head shaking, she paid up and sat down. She must think we're all thick. We cannot override the ticket machine. Where she gets on to where she is going has the fare pre-programmed into the ticket machine as £2.10. There's no way we can offer another fare unless her journey is different.
Common Sense Solution: hold these arse holes in the same contempt that they hold you. You'll always win provided you don't swear or do something that will cause the passenger to contact your depot to complain about your attitude. Smiling is especially good in these circumstances as you're doing it to be a cocky git, while they cannot complain as outwardly it appears polite. Just remember, in virtually all cases like this, the passenger is lying or, at best, mistaken. Uphold the party line.
A woman who looks like mutton dressed as lamb gets on in a village in an area where her bus pass cannot be used before 9.30am on a weekday. Now she's always paid cash but recently must have turned 60. Equipped with this precious piece of card, she's tries to board at 8am with her pass. The first time she did this, she had a massive row with the relatively new driver, who became very concerned that he was in the wrong, despite knowing otherwise. All went quiet for a number of months but she's started again.
What she doesn't know is that we drivers communicate to each other through a series of grunts. 7 grunts and a squeal means: "That nasty posh tart who's recently turned 60 who gets on at X will try and take the piss with a bus pass and under no circumstances accept it for travel on a weekday."
She's clearly cottoned onto this non-acceptance now, so matters have changed. Her single fare was £2 though with the fares rise last week it is now £2.10 (it's not, but I'm using this to illustrate the actual scenario where her single to town has risen by 10p recently).
She boarded my bus today and put down just £2 and briskly walked off. This despite me telling her the fare was £2.10. I called her back rather loudly as on the first occasion she didn't hear. Back she came and then argued the toss about how I was wrong. I suggested she'd not travelled on the bus since the fares rise but she's on the bus every day and has never been charged £2.10 yet. "All the other drivers can't be wrong, surely?"
"Yes they are. It's £2.10 please," said I, stony faced.
With much head shaking, she paid up and sat down. She must think we're all thick. We cannot override the ticket machine. Where she gets on to where she is going has the fare pre-programmed into the ticket machine as £2.10. There's no way we can offer another fare unless her journey is different.
Common Sense Solution: hold these arse holes in the same contempt that they hold you. You'll always win provided you don't swear or do something that will cause the passenger to contact your depot to complain about your attitude. Smiling is especially good in these circumstances as you're doing it to be a cocky git, while they cannot complain as outwardly it appears polite. Just remember, in virtually all cases like this, the passenger is lying or, at best, mistaken. Uphold the party line.
Tuesday 17 April 2012
Lunacy
Today a woman boarded with a collection of small kids and a buggy. Many of the little chavs were very young and ran off to the back of the bus. The woman asked for just a ticket for herself. I enquired as to the age of her gang and it transpired 3 of the 6 were of a chargeable fare. That pissed her off immediately - being unable to commit fraud.
Anyway, she paid and moved towards the buggy zone. Except she stopped by the luggage rack over the front left-side wheel and proceeded to lift her entire, unfolded buggy up and place it in the rack on its wheels. This was the first time in the many decades I've been driving buses that I've ever seen this happen.
"What are you doing!" I asked.
"Putting it up here out the way."
"You need to fold it if you want to put it there - what if it fell on a child as they were getting off?"
"Well the other driver said it would be OK".
Ah, that old chestnut; the OTHER DRIVER. This infamous character is the one who lets passengers do as they please. They let them get away with whatever they want yet curiously they cannot be described or named.
She even offered to lay it flat - but fully opened - on the luggage rack, wheels sticking into the aisle at the right height of an infant's head.
"I'm sorry, you either leave it open and leave it there (pointing at the empty buggy zone) or fold it up. It's just not safe to leave it there."
More tutting and huffing and she eventually left it in the buggy zone but buggered off down the back with her clan. To be fair to everyone else, if your sprog isn't sitting in the buggy, then it needs to be folded up.
As I got a couple of stops down the road, the entire buggy tipped back as the under-class mother hadn't distributed all the bags she had attached to it properly. I couldn't resist leaning round and saying to her, as she righted it, "Imagine if that was three feet in the air over the front wheel like you'd wanted at first."
She didn't respond.
Common Sense Solution: As unpopular as some rulings are to passengers, you have to enforce them. Drivers are not only paid a pittance to drive buses; they have to enforce and uphold company regulations and the law. Buggy owners are so selfish. Consistency needs to be maintained and 'the other driver' completely ignored as chances are he doesn't exist anyway. Also, the OAPs are on your side here too as they didn't have the luxury of super low floor buses when they were travelling with their kids.
Anyway, she paid and moved towards the buggy zone. Except she stopped by the luggage rack over the front left-side wheel and proceeded to lift her entire, unfolded buggy up and place it in the rack on its wheels. This was the first time in the many decades I've been driving buses that I've ever seen this happen.
"What are you doing!" I asked.
"Putting it up here out the way."
"You need to fold it if you want to put it there - what if it fell on a child as they were getting off?"
"Well the other driver said it would be OK".
Ah, that old chestnut; the OTHER DRIVER. This infamous character is the one who lets passengers do as they please. They let them get away with whatever they want yet curiously they cannot be described or named.
She even offered to lay it flat - but fully opened - on the luggage rack, wheels sticking into the aisle at the right height of an infant's head.
"I'm sorry, you either leave it open and leave it there (pointing at the empty buggy zone) or fold it up. It's just not safe to leave it there."
More tutting and huffing and she eventually left it in the buggy zone but buggered off down the back with her clan. To be fair to everyone else, if your sprog isn't sitting in the buggy, then it needs to be folded up.
As I got a couple of stops down the road, the entire buggy tipped back as the under-class mother hadn't distributed all the bags she had attached to it properly. I couldn't resist leaning round and saying to her, as she righted it, "Imagine if that was three feet in the air over the front wheel like you'd wanted at first."
She didn't respond.
Common Sense Solution: As unpopular as some rulings are to passengers, you have to enforce them. Drivers are not only paid a pittance to drive buses; they have to enforce and uphold company regulations and the law. Buggy owners are so selfish. Consistency needs to be maintained and 'the other driver' completely ignored as chances are he doesn't exist anyway. Also, the OAPs are on your side here too as they didn't have the luxury of super low floor buses when they were travelling with their kids.
Saturday 14 April 2012
Missed Stop
Sometimes passengers are in worlds of their own and through their daydreaming they miss their stop. Usually, the bell is rung not long after the missed stop and the passenger rushes to the front, asking to be let off. If there's a stop very soon indeed, I usually pretend I'm a little deaf and ask them to repeat themselves, by which point we're at the next stop and I've not had to do an unscheduled stop. Often these unscheduled stops can be in places that aren't too safe and the passenger just thinks you're being a bigger twat than normal by not stopping the bus immediately.
Today, a woman rang the bell as I was level with a bus stop at the junction of the main road and Street Y. I was doing 40mph at the time - the speed limit at this point along the route. I did wonder if she wanted the stop in question, but at 40mph and parallel as the bell was rung, there was no way I was even going to contemplate slamming my brakes on. I was starting to slow though as I was making the next left turn, into Street Z.
As I turned into Street Z there's an immediate bus stop. The woman who pressed the bell as I was passing Street Y started to complain that I was going the wrong way as I turned into Street Z. She thought that I was turning a street too soon, into Street Y. That's how much notice she was taking. As I opened the door, she must have realised her mistake.
The nasty bitch then started to bollock me for not stopping at the stop before!!
Can you believe it?! I was going to argue, but luckily a number of people were leaving here - all of whom wanted to leave here and her protestations were drowned out by my thanking others leaving the bus here. I made no eye contact with her, just said "Thanks!" on a number of occasions as everyone else got off.
Common-sense solution: We all miss our stop. I've daydreamed before and gone the wrong way. That's life. If I can stop safely I will, but usually that's not the case. So you have to walk back a block - deal with it. Most do. This woman was so unaware she hadn't realised she'd gone past her stop and yet chose to tell me off for not stopping for her. I'd have needed to know she wanted the stop before she rang the bell - late. I sensed there'd end up being a slanging match, which is no good for anyone. I was happy in the knowledge she'd rung the bell too late by anyone's book and this would be shown using the CCTV. This only happened today, so expect a follow-up entry if she phones to complain!
Today, a woman rang the bell as I was level with a bus stop at the junction of the main road and Street Y. I was doing 40mph at the time - the speed limit at this point along the route. I did wonder if she wanted the stop in question, but at 40mph and parallel as the bell was rung, there was no way I was even going to contemplate slamming my brakes on. I was starting to slow though as I was making the next left turn, into Street Z.
As I turned into Street Z there's an immediate bus stop. The woman who pressed the bell as I was passing Street Y started to complain that I was going the wrong way as I turned into Street Z. She thought that I was turning a street too soon, into Street Y. That's how much notice she was taking. As I opened the door, she must have realised her mistake.
The nasty bitch then started to bollock me for not stopping at the stop before!!
Can you believe it?! I was going to argue, but luckily a number of people were leaving here - all of whom wanted to leave here and her protestations were drowned out by my thanking others leaving the bus here. I made no eye contact with her, just said "Thanks!" on a number of occasions as everyone else got off.
Common-sense solution: We all miss our stop. I've daydreamed before and gone the wrong way. That's life. If I can stop safely I will, but usually that's not the case. So you have to walk back a block - deal with it. Most do. This woman was so unaware she hadn't realised she'd gone past her stop and yet chose to tell me off for not stopping for her. I'd have needed to know she wanted the stop before she rang the bell - late. I sensed there'd end up being a slanging match, which is no good for anyone. I was happy in the knowledge she'd rung the bell too late by anyone's book and this would be shown using the CCTV. This only happened today, so expect a follow-up entry if she phones to complain!
Thursday 12 April 2012
Laughing in my Face
I started to load some people on my bus recently and they were all OAPs travelling for free with their bus passes. The fourth in line was a black woman who asked for her destination while placing her hand by the side of the ticket machine, where the ticket would come from. She looked fairly old but didn't ask for a concession to X or show a card and ask for X. I told her the fare. She spluttered.
She pointed to her purse, which was open, inside which, amid the numerous coins and cough sweets, was a bus pass in a money bag. You could only see it was a bus pass by the location of the colours on what otherwise could have been anything credit card sized.
Silly me, I then did what I'm paid to do and asked her to show me the pass. There are quite a few that are running out of date and we're told to offer no leeway at all as what we get back per journey is so shit no operator is willing to give an inch when the error is the passenger's and the passenger's alone.
This black woman seemed surprised that I was asking to see her pass. Looking bewildered she got it out and showed me it but it was still in the money bag and I couldn't see the expiry date or, more importantly, that it was her photo on it.
"Well I've never been asked to do this before!" the woman said, laughing nervously. I suspect the volume of her voice was so that others on the bus could hear how unreasonable I'd been when actually they'd all done what I was now asking her to do except they'd done it without hesitation.
I checked the pass - in date and it was her beaming smile - issued her ticket and off she went. As she was about to go up the stairs, she said to anyone in the lower saloon who wanted to listen that "I've never come across such a bully in all the years I've been travelling on the buses!"
There's only so much I can stand, so I turned round from the cab and very publicly informed her that if she did not like showing her bus pass to obtain a FREE, yes, FREE journey on the bus, could I suggest that she get off and catch the train to her destination. The woman headed back to the front, if only to shut me up as the tables were now turning and it was she who was being embarrassed.
With her face right in mine (wrinkles and all!) she just burst out laughing. Just a very long cackle. I'd love to have thrown her off. But it would be one of those situations where the local press would be involved. I'd have to say that I removed her from the vehicle for laughing in my face, which compared to the conduct of the most troublesome of passengers, is a very minor offence.
I told her to go away and she did - upstairs, silently.
Common-sense solution: Sadly, ignorance is rife in all manner of life. This woman may not have wanted to make her age obvious to everyone else on board so assumed she'd just put her hand by the ticket machine to await her free ticket. I don't suggest all bus passes be thrust into the driver's face or slammed against the assault screen, but they need to be displayed clearly. I'd never seen this woman before so familiarity wasn't to blame. In the scheme of things, laughing in my face is not a smackable offence, regrettably. Rise above it. It's hard, but I think this dozy cow wouldn't dare do the same to me again.
She pointed to her purse, which was open, inside which, amid the numerous coins and cough sweets, was a bus pass in a money bag. You could only see it was a bus pass by the location of the colours on what otherwise could have been anything credit card sized.
Silly me, I then did what I'm paid to do and asked her to show me the pass. There are quite a few that are running out of date and we're told to offer no leeway at all as what we get back per journey is so shit no operator is willing to give an inch when the error is the passenger's and the passenger's alone.
This black woman seemed surprised that I was asking to see her pass. Looking bewildered she got it out and showed me it but it was still in the money bag and I couldn't see the expiry date or, more importantly, that it was her photo on it.
"Well I've never been asked to do this before!" the woman said, laughing nervously. I suspect the volume of her voice was so that others on the bus could hear how unreasonable I'd been when actually they'd all done what I was now asking her to do except they'd done it without hesitation.
I checked the pass - in date and it was her beaming smile - issued her ticket and off she went. As she was about to go up the stairs, she said to anyone in the lower saloon who wanted to listen that "I've never come across such a bully in all the years I've been travelling on the buses!"
There's only so much I can stand, so I turned round from the cab and very publicly informed her that if she did not like showing her bus pass to obtain a FREE, yes, FREE journey on the bus, could I suggest that she get off and catch the train to her destination. The woman headed back to the front, if only to shut me up as the tables were now turning and it was she who was being embarrassed.
With her face right in mine (wrinkles and all!) she just burst out laughing. Just a very long cackle. I'd love to have thrown her off. But it would be one of those situations where the local press would be involved. I'd have to say that I removed her from the vehicle for laughing in my face, which compared to the conduct of the most troublesome of passengers, is a very minor offence.
I told her to go away and she did - upstairs, silently.
Common-sense solution: Sadly, ignorance is rife in all manner of life. This woman may not have wanted to make her age obvious to everyone else on board so assumed she'd just put her hand by the ticket machine to await her free ticket. I don't suggest all bus passes be thrust into the driver's face or slammed against the assault screen, but they need to be displayed clearly. I'd never seen this woman before so familiarity wasn't to blame. In the scheme of things, laughing in my face is not a smackable offence, regrettably. Rise above it. It's hard, but I think this dozy cow wouldn't dare do the same to me again.
Monday 19 March 2012
Walking to the Light
There are a few things that passengers do that bemuse me. As 'avids' will know by now, I come across some right thickos in my job. I can try and fathom why they act as they do, but sometimes there is no explanation. One such example is when a passenger is stood at a bus stop in the correct place - just where you'll pull up - but upon you indication and pulling up to the stop, the put their head down and walk towards you, leaving the place they were stood which happens to be the place you'd geared yourself up to stop at.
They start walking towards you, remaining on the path.
Why?
Just stay where you are! You may have (or may not have, in so many cases) hailed the bus to stop and seen the driver apply the left indicator, so guess what? He's pulling over to allow you to board.
Why then walk towards the bus that's heading at you at speed?
STAY WHERE YOU ARE!
I wonder what a psychologist would make of this?
Common-Sense Solution: Just pull up where you'd originally budgeted to. Don't brake any harder to stop sooner as this will detract comfort for your existing passengers. Go past the person walking towards your headlights like a lemming and pull up precisely where they were standing. Make them walk back to you. They might learn.
They start walking towards you, remaining on the path.
Why?
Just stay where you are! You may have (or may not have, in so many cases) hailed the bus to stop and seen the driver apply the left indicator, so guess what? He's pulling over to allow you to board.
Why then walk towards the bus that's heading at you at speed?
STAY WHERE YOU ARE!
I wonder what a psychologist would make of this?
Common-Sense Solution: Just pull up where you'd originally budgeted to. Don't brake any harder to stop sooner as this will detract comfort for your existing passengers. Go past the person walking towards your headlights like a lemming and pull up precisely where they were standing. Make them walk back to you. They might learn.
Friday 16 March 2012
Ten pounds will do!
Over the past few days I've run out of money twice. First was at the start of the week when everyone was paying for a £3 fare with a £10 note. What few £5 notes I had soon went and thereafter I was dishing out seven £1 coins per person. I add to the basic float I'm given but I soon ran out. Unlike the competing bus company in the area, I don't have a 'no change voucher' option; I have to hand-write an IOU slip and the passenger has to make their own way to my depot to collect their change. This can be many miles away from their location and when they realise they'll have to pay more in bus fares/petrol than the amount they're going to collect, they get very annoyed indeed.
We're told to be hard-line on this. We have to tell the passenger that we are not obliged to offer change at all but do so to encourage travel but on the occasions when we run out of change through no fault of our own, the only option for travel is for the driver to issue the passenger with an IOU and for this to be redeemed at the company premises. The passenger also has the opportunity not to travel.
It causes aggro. "But it's money!" said the guy to me on Wednesday when he offered me a note that required £17.90 change. I had about £400 on me, but all in £10 notes. "For fuck's sake. What kind of shoddy outfit are you running?" he added.
Indeed. Adding to this that we're not obliged to offer change at all only makes things worse. It's a bad procedure that causes unnecessary animosity for all but the managers.
Common-Sense Solution: If our ticket machines cannot be configured for it, a carbonated note pad should be offered where we write down the amount the passenger is owed and for this to be worth that value to any driver from the same company, upon production by the passenger. I could then tell the passenger that: "I can't give you your change, but I can give you a piece of paper that's worth £17.90 but only to drivers of my company who I'm sure will be only too happy to exchange for you, provided they have sufficient change to do so." The passenger wouldn't need to go to the depot, just to go without their change until they see another bus driver from my company - be it when they get to their destination, on their way home or the next few days. Simples.
We're told to be hard-line on this. We have to tell the passenger that we are not obliged to offer change at all but do so to encourage travel but on the occasions when we run out of change through no fault of our own, the only option for travel is for the driver to issue the passenger with an IOU and for this to be redeemed at the company premises. The passenger also has the opportunity not to travel.
It causes aggro. "But it's money!" said the guy to me on Wednesday when he offered me a note that required £17.90 change. I had about £400 on me, but all in £10 notes. "For fuck's sake. What kind of shoddy outfit are you running?" he added.
Indeed. Adding to this that we're not obliged to offer change at all only makes things worse. It's a bad procedure that causes unnecessary animosity for all but the managers.
Common-Sense Solution: If our ticket machines cannot be configured for it, a carbonated note pad should be offered where we write down the amount the passenger is owed and for this to be worth that value to any driver from the same company, upon production by the passenger. I could then tell the passenger that: "I can't give you your change, but I can give you a piece of paper that's worth £17.90 but only to drivers of my company who I'm sure will be only too happy to exchange for you, provided they have sufficient change to do so." The passenger wouldn't need to go to the depot, just to go without their change until they see another bus driver from my company - be it when they get to their destination, on their way home or the next few days. Simples.
Friday 24 February 2012
Zig-Zag
A new supermarket has opened in an area of town where there had been a section of hail and ride. Steps down from the main road to the new superstore have been built and so too has a pelican crossing. Annoyingly, this has all happened precisely where we used to stop for passengers. There has never been a bus stop sign or markings of any description here before, now there are just zig-zags denoting the pelican crossing.
It is an offence to stop of zig-zag lines, mainly because you obscure the view of the crossing from other road users - especially when you're driving a double-decker bus. So, we do not stop here for passengers now on safety and legal grounds. But now the old stopping place is in THE most convenient place for people, as lots want to use the superstore.
Today, a lad flagged me down literally feet away from the pelican traffic light. I slowed, indicated, and gestured to him that I was going to stop beyond the zig-zags. He spotted what was happening and jogged up to where I stopped. All was well, I thought.
"Very fucking funny, mate!" he said as he got on. I thought he was messing, but no.
I told him I can't stop there as I'm blocking the entire crossing and I'm also on zig-zag lines. He shook his head as if I just tried to question his unshakable belief in his football team.
"You're not right in the head, that's all I can say!" was his response.
Common Sense Solution: You're always going to get responses from people like this. You tell them the law - the ultimate 'how it is' - and they somehow think it is sad or that you're some sort of lemming, blindly following the rules to the nth degree (when often it is they who are doing lemming impressions by paying £30+ per week to see 11 of their idols kick something that was historically a sheep's bladder around a football pitch for 90 minutes). Some don't like the fact that you've made them run and people on the bus can see you've forced them to do something they don't want to do. It's as if you're challenging their self-styled alpha male credentials.
The way forwards is to make sure you do this every time you are flagged down by someone in this location and to get your company to site a proper bus stop in a safe location in the vicinity. It is far simpler to point to the new stop and say "that's where we stop now". Once again, hail-and-ride is just awful - the root cause of all manner of arguments and cross words just for operators and local councils to save money on bus stop infrastructure.
It is an offence to stop of zig-zag lines, mainly because you obscure the view of the crossing from other road users - especially when you're driving a double-decker bus. So, we do not stop here for passengers now on safety and legal grounds. But now the old stopping place is in THE most convenient place for people, as lots want to use the superstore.
Today, a lad flagged me down literally feet away from the pelican traffic light. I slowed, indicated, and gestured to him that I was going to stop beyond the zig-zags. He spotted what was happening and jogged up to where I stopped. All was well, I thought.
"Very fucking funny, mate!" he said as he got on. I thought he was messing, but no.
I told him I can't stop there as I'm blocking the entire crossing and I'm also on zig-zag lines. He shook his head as if I just tried to question his unshakable belief in his football team.
"You're not right in the head, that's all I can say!" was his response.
Common Sense Solution: You're always going to get responses from people like this. You tell them the law - the ultimate 'how it is' - and they somehow think it is sad or that you're some sort of lemming, blindly following the rules to the nth degree (when often it is they who are doing lemming impressions by paying £30+ per week to see 11 of their idols kick something that was historically a sheep's bladder around a football pitch for 90 minutes). Some don't like the fact that you've made them run and people on the bus can see you've forced them to do something they don't want to do. It's as if you're challenging their self-styled alpha male credentials.
The way forwards is to make sure you do this every time you are flagged down by someone in this location and to get your company to site a proper bus stop in a safe location in the vicinity. It is far simpler to point to the new stop and say "that's where we stop now". Once again, hail-and-ride is just awful - the root cause of all manner of arguments and cross words just for operators and local councils to save money on bus stop infrastructure.
Thursday 9 February 2012
Land Rover Drivers
Most of them are cunts.
It's that simple. A good example played out before me today, though unusually I won.
There's a narrow bit of road one of my routes passes along, where to historic buildings were built a little too close to each other to make a two-way section of route possible. So, the white line in the centre of the road ends and unusually there are no priority signs showing. Usually, one direction has priority over the other, but not this narrow gap.
My rule is surely the fairest - the first one at the gap has the right of way. Some bus drivers take the view that they're the largest so they have priority despite the oncoming vehicle reaching the gap just before they do. The bus driver will get into the centre of the road before he needs to, thus forcing the oncoming (usually smaller) vehicle to stop back.
Today I got to the gap before the oncoming cunt, sorry, Land Rover driver. As I aligned myself for the centre of the road, I became concerned that I was going to have a head-on collision as the oncoming cunt showed no sign of slowing down. On the phone? Texting? Reading a book? Re-filling his pipe? Extinguishing his tweed jacket? Who knows.
He was actually speeding up to get to the centre ground first. It's not as if there wasn't much in it. I wasn't sure what to do so stopped dead, right in the middle of the narrow bit. Cunt decided to stop, so no collision, and then he stopped leaving a gap the width of a Mini for me to pass through. So I chose to stay stationary. So did he.
Then he used both arms to gesture I just move out of his way. Picture the scene. The first 20 feet of my bus is through the narrow gap and in front of me, almost head on, is a cunt in a Land Rover telling me to get out of his way.
I adopted one of my favourite poses. Folded arms. If that doesn't have an effect after 10 seconds, then get some reading material out and place it on your steering wheel.
There then followed a lot of 'horn abuse' from said cunt as he realised I'd won and he'd lost. Back he went. But not much. Not enough even. I moved forward part-filling the gap he'd left. He had to go back some more, accompanied by more horn-blowing. This time I had sufficient room to pass. As I did there were more horn blasts as he screeched away.
Common Sense Solution: Anyone driving my bus at that time in that location would have been greeted with the scenario I did. Probably folding my arms and reading the paper while the impotent driver slowly realised that unusually his larger vehicle was not going to win this argument. It's a good idea not to get into confrontation with these people. You never know what might happen - some cunts have knives. Stand your ground and if your bus has CCTV mention it back at the depot as it can be downloaded and often shows in great clarity what the cunt tried to do. Often these cunts phone up and claim you've done something to them on par with rape.
It's that simple. A good example played out before me today, though unusually I won.
There's a narrow bit of road one of my routes passes along, where to historic buildings were built a little too close to each other to make a two-way section of route possible. So, the white line in the centre of the road ends and unusually there are no priority signs showing. Usually, one direction has priority over the other, but not this narrow gap.
My rule is surely the fairest - the first one at the gap has the right of way. Some bus drivers take the view that they're the largest so they have priority despite the oncoming vehicle reaching the gap just before they do. The bus driver will get into the centre of the road before he needs to, thus forcing the oncoming (usually smaller) vehicle to stop back.
Today I got to the gap before the oncoming cunt, sorry, Land Rover driver. As I aligned myself for the centre of the road, I became concerned that I was going to have a head-on collision as the oncoming cunt showed no sign of slowing down. On the phone? Texting? Reading a book? Re-filling his pipe? Extinguishing his tweed jacket? Who knows.
He was actually speeding up to get to the centre ground first. It's not as if there wasn't much in it. I wasn't sure what to do so stopped dead, right in the middle of the narrow bit. Cunt decided to stop, so no collision, and then he stopped leaving a gap the width of a Mini for me to pass through. So I chose to stay stationary. So did he.
Then he used both arms to gesture I just move out of his way. Picture the scene. The first 20 feet of my bus is through the narrow gap and in front of me, almost head on, is a cunt in a Land Rover telling me to get out of his way.
I adopted one of my favourite poses. Folded arms. If that doesn't have an effect after 10 seconds, then get some reading material out and place it on your steering wheel.
There then followed a lot of 'horn abuse' from said cunt as he realised I'd won and he'd lost. Back he went. But not much. Not enough even. I moved forward part-filling the gap he'd left. He had to go back some more, accompanied by more horn-blowing. This time I had sufficient room to pass. As I did there were more horn blasts as he screeched away.
Common Sense Solution: Anyone driving my bus at that time in that location would have been greeted with the scenario I did. Probably folding my arms and reading the paper while the impotent driver slowly realised that unusually his larger vehicle was not going to win this argument. It's a good idea not to get into confrontation with these people. You never know what might happen - some cunts have knives. Stand your ground and if your bus has CCTV mention it back at the depot as it can be downloaded and often shows in great clarity what the cunt tried to do. Often these cunts phone up and claim you've done something to them on par with rape.
Monday 6 February 2012
Just Plain Thick
There are two bus stops located along a stretch of road I was driving along today. The first is at a memorial and the second is by a school. They're around 0.25 miles apart. A woman flagged me down right in the middle of the two stops today. I stopped and let her board and after she paid I asked her to wait at either the memorial or school bus next time. She said she'd phoned my company before venturing out (sensible!) and that they'd told her there was a bus stop located by the school (all correct). The punch line, if that's what you call it, was not what I was expecting:
"I wasn't sure how near the school they meant so I thought I'd just stand outside my front gate to make sure."
Bullshit. Complete and utter fucking arse. The lazy cow couldn't be bothered walking to the bus stop - clearly sited outside the frigging school - and so thought she'd flag me down outside her house. She also dropped into the conversation that she wasn't used to catching buses. It shows.
You see buses stop at these things called bus stops. This way, it ensures everyone is treated fairly and that the bus isn't unnecessarily delayed by stopping too often, for example, for the idle wankers who want a personal taxi service at a fraction of the cost.
She asked for the suburb I was heading for he city centre.
The city centre most of my services call at has two major bus stops. On the way in is a row of stops at the far end of the pedestrianised area and beyond that is the second and final stop in the bus station. As I approached the centre, most alighted at the first stop, outside, by the pedestrianised area. She and a couple remained on for the bus station.
Mid-way between the two points, the idle woman got up, strolled to the front and said: "Here please!" Ha! Yeah, right. Now it was pay back time. I tried the old faithful at first, ignoring her completely, in the hope she thought I simply hadn't heard her, but this woman was having none of it. "I said HERE please!"
"I'm sorry, the next stop is the bus station. We only call at the bus stops I'm afraid!"
"Well I want to be at that shop there!" she said, as we whizzed past it at a very satisfying 30mph.
I told her that as it was mid-way between the two stops (a bit like her house) she had to walk regardless of which stop she chose to leave.
Then she started moaning very loudly about how dire the service was and how glad she doesn't have to rely on buses and how rude and ignorant the drivers are. I then lost it. I slammed the brakes on and shouted. JUST SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP AS I COULD CRASH THE BLOODY BUS WITH YOU GOING OFF ON ONE!
All that investment in my Driver CPC and NVQ going right out the window. She sat down and shut up. Perhaps I should mention that at my next training course, that it could be an effective way in which to deal with dickhead passengers?
The sensible thing to do now is back-track, but in such a way that the passenger doesn't know you're doing it. She'd plonked her fat arse down directly behind my cab, so I said fairly loudly that there was CCTV fitted throughout the bus and that my boss takes a personal dislike to passengers distracting the driver and stopping between bus stops and it can compromise safety. I also added that I'd already broken the rules by picking her up in between stops earlier in the route.
The plan was to make her sufficiently aware of how her actions would not be condoned by the depot and so she wouldn't dare phone in to report the incident as her story would effectively drop herself in it.
Needless to say, I've now got a mental image of her and shall be driving past the next time if she flags me down in between stops.
Common Sense Solution: Exactly what I did. Initially point the error out to the passenger (as I did) and hope they learn from it. Many will and many won't, usually in equal measure. If you should find you have a thicko who doesn't quite understand anything you're telling them, you may need to re-emphasise the point in another way, if this presents itself - luckily for me it did when she wanted me to drop her off in between stops. Yes, you'll get hassle but at the same time you're investing in a trouble-free life for the journeys to come as she won't dare recreate the situation. Probably.
"I wasn't sure how near the school they meant so I thought I'd just stand outside my front gate to make sure."
Bullshit. Complete and utter fucking arse. The lazy cow couldn't be bothered walking to the bus stop - clearly sited outside the frigging school - and so thought she'd flag me down outside her house. She also dropped into the conversation that she wasn't used to catching buses. It shows.
You see buses stop at these things called bus stops. This way, it ensures everyone is treated fairly and that the bus isn't unnecessarily delayed by stopping too often, for example, for the idle wankers who want a personal taxi service at a fraction of the cost.
She asked for the suburb I was heading for he city centre.
The city centre most of my services call at has two major bus stops. On the way in is a row of stops at the far end of the pedestrianised area and beyond that is the second and final stop in the bus station. As I approached the centre, most alighted at the first stop, outside, by the pedestrianised area. She and a couple remained on for the bus station.
Mid-way between the two points, the idle woman got up, strolled to the front and said: "Here please!" Ha! Yeah, right. Now it was pay back time. I tried the old faithful at first, ignoring her completely, in the hope she thought I simply hadn't heard her, but this woman was having none of it. "I said HERE please!"
"I'm sorry, the next stop is the bus station. We only call at the bus stops I'm afraid!"
"Well I want to be at that shop there!" she said, as we whizzed past it at a very satisfying 30mph.
I told her that as it was mid-way between the two stops (a bit like her house) she had to walk regardless of which stop she chose to leave.
Then she started moaning very loudly about how dire the service was and how glad she doesn't have to rely on buses and how rude and ignorant the drivers are. I then lost it. I slammed the brakes on and shouted. JUST SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP AS I COULD CRASH THE BLOODY BUS WITH YOU GOING OFF ON ONE!
All that investment in my Driver CPC and NVQ going right out the window. She sat down and shut up. Perhaps I should mention that at my next training course, that it could be an effective way in which to deal with dickhead passengers?
The sensible thing to do now is back-track, but in such a way that the passenger doesn't know you're doing it. She'd plonked her fat arse down directly behind my cab, so I said fairly loudly that there was CCTV fitted throughout the bus and that my boss takes a personal dislike to passengers distracting the driver and stopping between bus stops and it can compromise safety. I also added that I'd already broken the rules by picking her up in between stops earlier in the route.
The plan was to make her sufficiently aware of how her actions would not be condoned by the depot and so she wouldn't dare phone in to report the incident as her story would effectively drop herself in it.
Needless to say, I've now got a mental image of her and shall be driving past the next time if she flags me down in between stops.
Common Sense Solution: Exactly what I did. Initially point the error out to the passenger (as I did) and hope they learn from it. Many will and many won't, usually in equal measure. If you should find you have a thicko who doesn't quite understand anything you're telling them, you may need to re-emphasise the point in another way, if this presents itself - luckily for me it did when she wanted me to drop her off in between stops. Yes, you'll get hassle but at the same time you're investing in a trouble-free life for the journeys to come as she won't dare recreate the situation. Probably.
Monday 16 January 2012
Fact of Life
A woman mumbled something about me being a racist today as she got off my bus. Absolutely ridiculous.
What happened was a black woman, yes, a BLACK woman (you better lock me up now!) boarded and asked for a particular stop that is not lit and in the middle of nowhere. It was dark and I was driving the 2020 departure from the nearest estate. She said she wasn't sure where the stop was in the dark as she normally travelled during the day, so could I give her a shout when we arrived at the stop in question. Being the big racist that I clearly am, I said I would, issued her with a ticket and then wiped the counter down with antiseptic wipes.
I approached the stop in question and couldn't see her sat downstairs. I assumed that she was upstairs so wasn't going to shout her stop out above the engine, so when I came to a stop I opened the door and shouted the name of her stop. The woman was sat upstairs and got up as soon as I called out.
She said thanks as she got off, I closed the doors and we drove off. All sorted.
At the next central point, the lead passenger waiting to alight stood next to me and said: "Typical, overriding her stop, eh?" implying the black woman had deliberately kept quiet in the hope that I'd take her beyond her stop, perhaps to where she really wanted to go. This was wrong for two reasons.
1. As can be read above, this was pre-planned and happened with my blessing and
2. The fare to the next central point is the same as the one where she left the bus, so there was no financial gain to be had.
A woman stood behind this guy seemed interested in what happened. I was keen to let them know that it was all under control and nothing like the guy was suggesting. I said: "The black lady asked me to shout out when we got to the stop back there as she didn't know where it was in the dark."
This seemed to satisfy the guy at the front, and he left the bus first. The woman said: "I'm just wondering why you felt you needed to describe her as a black lady?" I said: "In India I would be described as a white man, so I can't see what the problem is!"
"Hmm, that's a little racist!" she said and got off.
The stupid silly cow was obviously under the employ of a local authority with this stupid, pathetic, paranoid obsession with equality. Either that or a fully paid-up member of the Liberal Democrats.
Common Sense Solution: Sadly, with the world being as it is, I had to make my depot aware of the incident. The BLACK woman would have surely left my bus feeling that I'd helped her out as she requested I do. The WHITE woman thought I was a racist simply because I described her as a BLACK lady. She wasn't aware of the situation. This is why we have such ridiculous rulings in this country. People are so paranoid about racism that they manage to perpetuate something worse: paranoia about saying the wrong thing. This has nothing to do with free speech. I'm glad I said back to her what I did, about being called a White Man in India. I bet whoever said that there wouldn't be branded a racist by a black woman!
What happened was a black woman, yes, a BLACK woman (you better lock me up now!) boarded and asked for a particular stop that is not lit and in the middle of nowhere. It was dark and I was driving the 2020 departure from the nearest estate. She said she wasn't sure where the stop was in the dark as she normally travelled during the day, so could I give her a shout when we arrived at the stop in question. Being the big racist that I clearly am, I said I would, issued her with a ticket and then wiped the counter down with antiseptic wipes.
I approached the stop in question and couldn't see her sat downstairs. I assumed that she was upstairs so wasn't going to shout her stop out above the engine, so when I came to a stop I opened the door and shouted the name of her stop. The woman was sat upstairs and got up as soon as I called out.
She said thanks as she got off, I closed the doors and we drove off. All sorted.
At the next central point, the lead passenger waiting to alight stood next to me and said: "Typical, overriding her stop, eh?" implying the black woman had deliberately kept quiet in the hope that I'd take her beyond her stop, perhaps to where she really wanted to go. This was wrong for two reasons.
1. As can be read above, this was pre-planned and happened with my blessing and
2. The fare to the next central point is the same as the one where she left the bus, so there was no financial gain to be had.
A woman stood behind this guy seemed interested in what happened. I was keen to let them know that it was all under control and nothing like the guy was suggesting. I said: "The black lady asked me to shout out when we got to the stop back there as she didn't know where it was in the dark."
This seemed to satisfy the guy at the front, and he left the bus first. The woman said: "I'm just wondering why you felt you needed to describe her as a black lady?" I said: "In India I would be described as a white man, so I can't see what the problem is!"
"Hmm, that's a little racist!" she said and got off.
The stupid silly cow was obviously under the employ of a local authority with this stupid, pathetic, paranoid obsession with equality. Either that or a fully paid-up member of the Liberal Democrats.
Common Sense Solution: Sadly, with the world being as it is, I had to make my depot aware of the incident. The BLACK woman would have surely left my bus feeling that I'd helped her out as she requested I do. The WHITE woman thought I was a racist simply because I described her as a BLACK lady. She wasn't aware of the situation. This is why we have such ridiculous rulings in this country. People are so paranoid about racism that they manage to perpetuate something worse: paranoia about saying the wrong thing. This has nothing to do with free speech. I'm glad I said back to her what I did, about being called a White Man in India. I bet whoever said that there wouldn't be branded a racist by a black woman!
Wednesday 11 January 2012
Yet more Hail & Ride problems...
I've said before how sections of route without bus stops being registered as Hail & Ride causes untold problems. The problem is that passengers firstly do not know what Hail & Ride actually means. They just stand there, impersonating someone waiting to cross the road and then phone in to complain when the bus drives past them. There are some who, while having grasped the concept of HAILING a bus in order for it to stop, do so almost in secret, with ridiculously puny hand gestures or stand in dangerous places: in between parked cars, at road junctions or on the brow of a hill.
Today saw me have an issue with someone who wanted to get off a bus in a tiny village. It has a bus stop in the centre, but at either end of the village we will stop for passengers. She boarded in a large town with someone else who wanted this village. This other person wanted the first unofficial stop, not the main, fixed bus stop in the village centre.
As we entered the village the bell sounded. This was not the woman whom I knew wanted the first, unofficial stop, but the first lady. I entered the village and as I pulled over for the unofficial first stop, the woman said, "They normally stop for me a lot sooner than this!" and got out without a bye-your-leave. The second woman, who travels regularly, said she'd never seen her in her life before so she didn't know which drivers dropped her off earlier, as she said.
Common Sense Solution: I just shrugged it off and got on with my journey. It did annoy me though that a woman who clearly doesn't travel very often thinks that all she has to do is ring the bell and the bus will stop precisely where she wants it to. We are all psychotic (or is that psychic?) Had the village had three fixed bus stop, one at the start/end as well as the central one, there would be no argument. Sadly, as I've said before, some councils and bus companies don't want to shell out on bus stop signs and poles. It all boils down to money.
Today saw me have an issue with someone who wanted to get off a bus in a tiny village. It has a bus stop in the centre, but at either end of the village we will stop for passengers. She boarded in a large town with someone else who wanted this village. This other person wanted the first unofficial stop, not the main, fixed bus stop in the village centre.
As we entered the village the bell sounded. This was not the woman whom I knew wanted the first, unofficial stop, but the first lady. I entered the village and as I pulled over for the unofficial first stop, the woman said, "They normally stop for me a lot sooner than this!" and got out without a bye-your-leave. The second woman, who travels regularly, said she'd never seen her in her life before so she didn't know which drivers dropped her off earlier, as she said.
Common Sense Solution: I just shrugged it off and got on with my journey. It did annoy me though that a woman who clearly doesn't travel very often thinks that all she has to do is ring the bell and the bus will stop precisely where she wants it to. We are all psychotic (or is that psychic?) Had the village had three fixed bus stop, one at the start/end as well as the central one, there would be no argument. Sadly, as I've said before, some councils and bus companies don't want to shell out on bus stop signs and poles. It all boils down to money.
Monday 9 January 2012
For the fun of it
Why is it that when one of the Great Unwashed learn something they don't like the sound of, they choose to automatically think that the bus driver is somehow mistaken or that they've misheard.
"What time is the last bus, mate?"
"5.50 tonight."
"Are you sure?"
"Actually, no I'm not. There's one a 10. I'm glad you told me to double check my first statement!"
The other is when a passenger purchases a return ticket. This, naturally, sees the passenger pay for their outward and return journeys when they board and a discount on two singles is offered as the passenger has chosen to return with us. If a single fare is, say, £2.00, the return will be around the £3.00 mark, offering a saving of £1. The journey allows you to go from A to B and then return from B to A during the same day. Some passengers think it entitles them to get off at Stop Z or Stop Y and then go and see their friend at Stop X before continuing with their journey. It does not. Some tickets on the train allow you to do this, but this is a bus, not a train. Apart from the obvious physical difference, the per mile cost is about 10 times less on a bus, though the way passengers moan about the cost of their fare.
"Alright, mate. With this return, can I stop off at Morrisons on the way back and get back on?"
"No, if you want to break your journey you need to buy a day ticket."
"Oh really? Only I only need to nip into Morrisons for a few bits."
Notice how the fact they only want to buy some batteries or tampax somehow made a difference from their first statement, which they were concerned was worded to imply they'd be getting back on with a trolley full and that somehow this made their de-legitimised their request.
The day ticket is only a few pence more than many of our return fares yet some just don't research the information before travelling. Some routes I drive are OK as they are wholly within certain urban areas which offer a cheaper day ticket. The more rural routes are worse as they only offer the more expensive day ticket which some people seem to, on principle, choose not to buy.
And then there are those who don't look at your destination and flag you down and ask for somewhere that you're not going to. The only time a bus driver can get his own back here is when he/she is travelling 'Not In Service' and the cretin will still flag you down as you glide by...
Common Sense Solution: Sadly, there isn't one. Is is human nature to question anything you're told that you don't like the sound of? I don't do that. I think it is because passengers don't now see a bus driver as holding much authority. He is the guy they begrudgingly hand over their hard-earned money to.
"What time is the last bus, mate?"
"5.50 tonight."
"Are you sure?"
"Actually, no I'm not. There's one a 10. I'm glad you told me to double check my first statement!"
The other is when a passenger purchases a return ticket. This, naturally, sees the passenger pay for their outward and return journeys when they board and a discount on two singles is offered as the passenger has chosen to return with us. If a single fare is, say, £2.00, the return will be around the £3.00 mark, offering a saving of £1. The journey allows you to go from A to B and then return from B to A during the same day. Some passengers think it entitles them to get off at Stop Z or Stop Y and then go and see their friend at Stop X before continuing with their journey. It does not. Some tickets on the train allow you to do this, but this is a bus, not a train. Apart from the obvious physical difference, the per mile cost is about 10 times less on a bus, though the way passengers moan about the cost of their fare.
"Alright, mate. With this return, can I stop off at Morrisons on the way back and get back on?"
"No, if you want to break your journey you need to buy a day ticket."
"Oh really? Only I only need to nip into Morrisons for a few bits."
Notice how the fact they only want to buy some batteries or tampax somehow made a difference from their first statement, which they were concerned was worded to imply they'd be getting back on with a trolley full and that somehow this made their de-legitimised their request.
The day ticket is only a few pence more than many of our return fares yet some just don't research the information before travelling. Some routes I drive are OK as they are wholly within certain urban areas which offer a cheaper day ticket. The more rural routes are worse as they only offer the more expensive day ticket which some people seem to, on principle, choose not to buy.
And then there are those who don't look at your destination and flag you down and ask for somewhere that you're not going to. The only time a bus driver can get his own back here is when he/she is travelling 'Not In Service' and the cretin will still flag you down as you glide by...
Common Sense Solution: Sadly, there isn't one. Is is human nature to question anything you're told that you don't like the sound of? I don't do that. I think it is because passengers don't now see a bus driver as holding much authority. He is the guy they begrudgingly hand over their hard-earned money to.
Thursday 5 January 2012
First Argument of 2012
Needless to say the first indiscretion of the year took place on my first day back after the New Year extended weekend.
I was working a shift where I was to receive a very generous break of 20 minutes every time I got to a particular terminus. I need this time as break as I do a 7-hour stint and the law says that if I do more than 5.5 hours, I need to have a minimum of 45 minutes in the short breaks in between journeys before the stint ends. Even then I cannot work more than 8.5 hours, when a minimum of 30 mins break is additionally needed.
I don't expect the passengers to be aware of this.
I arrived at the terminus and the passengers got off. I could see some people milling around for my return journey which was to leave in 20 minutes time. But I was going to leave the bus and use the local rest room in the form of a portakabin. It has a kettle and a sink. I wouldn't drink anything from the kettle or use the sink, but that is by the by; it is somewhere I can go to get away from the cab.
On the journey in, two passengers said that they'd rung a bell in the lower saloon and nothing happened. Consequently they'd had to call out that they wanted the next stop. I left the engine running now the bus was empty, left the cab and walked the full length of the bus to check the bells. All seemed to work OK. I then went upstairs and checked those there - all OK.
All very mysterious. I can downstairs and turned the engine off. I collected my cash tray and put my coat on. All indicative actions of someone about to leave a bus. I turned to the door and saw a queue of 6 or 7 people waiting to get on.
As I opened the door, I told them that I'd be 15 minutes. I could have said fuck-all like some of my colleagues, but chose to let them know.
"Oh, that's a bit much!" the woman at the front of the queue said.
"I beg your pardon?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"Well it's cold out here and we've got to wait all that time!"
What had happened was that she couldn't bare not to be first in the queue and so had left her seat in the relative warmth of the mini bus station. Someone was now sat there. It was a gamble that had not paid off. And before you ask, no, we're not allowed to board passengers only to then leave them alone on board while we use the loo or get a drink. In any case, when passengers see others on board, they have this uncontrollable urge to open the doors themselves to join their fellow campers on board. They do not know how to close the doors behind them and you lose track of who has paid and who hasn't - and there's always the opportunity for someone to claim they've paid when they haven't.
"I'm not being rude, love, but I don't leave until on-the-hour, so I will see you shortly before then." and then I walked off.
Common Sense Solution: I think I did it. Passengers often claim that other drivers do what they're asking you to do. I'm surprised she didn't say this to me today. It is almost always bullshit. Consistency, as I've said on many times previous, is the name of the game. If this woman learns that all drivers take 15 of their 20 mins turnaround she will know to keep her fat on the bench until the driver returns.
I was working a shift where I was to receive a very generous break of 20 minutes every time I got to a particular terminus. I need this time as break as I do a 7-hour stint and the law says that if I do more than 5.5 hours, I need to have a minimum of 45 minutes in the short breaks in between journeys before the stint ends. Even then I cannot work more than 8.5 hours, when a minimum of 30 mins break is additionally needed.
I don't expect the passengers to be aware of this.
I arrived at the terminus and the passengers got off. I could see some people milling around for my return journey which was to leave in 20 minutes time. But I was going to leave the bus and use the local rest room in the form of a portakabin. It has a kettle and a sink. I wouldn't drink anything from the kettle or use the sink, but that is by the by; it is somewhere I can go to get away from the cab.
On the journey in, two passengers said that they'd rung a bell in the lower saloon and nothing happened. Consequently they'd had to call out that they wanted the next stop. I left the engine running now the bus was empty, left the cab and walked the full length of the bus to check the bells. All seemed to work OK. I then went upstairs and checked those there - all OK.
All very mysterious. I can downstairs and turned the engine off. I collected my cash tray and put my coat on. All indicative actions of someone about to leave a bus. I turned to the door and saw a queue of 6 or 7 people waiting to get on.
As I opened the door, I told them that I'd be 15 minutes. I could have said fuck-all like some of my colleagues, but chose to let them know.
"Oh, that's a bit much!" the woman at the front of the queue said.
"I beg your pardon?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"Well it's cold out here and we've got to wait all that time!"
What had happened was that she couldn't bare not to be first in the queue and so had left her seat in the relative warmth of the mini bus station. Someone was now sat there. It was a gamble that had not paid off. And before you ask, no, we're not allowed to board passengers only to then leave them alone on board while we use the loo or get a drink. In any case, when passengers see others on board, they have this uncontrollable urge to open the doors themselves to join their fellow campers on board. They do not know how to close the doors behind them and you lose track of who has paid and who hasn't - and there's always the opportunity for someone to claim they've paid when they haven't.
"I'm not being rude, love, but I don't leave until on-the-hour, so I will see you shortly before then." and then I walked off.
Common Sense Solution: I think I did it. Passengers often claim that other drivers do what they're asking you to do. I'm surprised she didn't say this to me today. It is almost always bullshit. Consistency, as I've said on many times previous, is the name of the game. If this woman learns that all drivers take 15 of their 20 mins turnaround she will know to keep her fat on the bench until the driver returns.
Last Argument of 2011
It is only fitting to report that my last argument of the year took place on New Year's Eve. Not only that, it occurred while working the last journey of the particular journey I was working. I was departing a bus station at 1600, though as it was the last bus for two days, reversed off the bay at 1601. A passenger on board yelled out that someone was running towards the bus and as I was the only bus in the station, assumed he wanted me.
He was an odd sight. I would describe him as a typical geeza, except this wanker was in his 40s and was mincing along. Very odd. Very camp. Perhaps he was one of these gays that I hear talk of. Whether he was or not was not made known to me. I can, though, reveal that he was a complete ignoramus.
Had I been the one running for a bus that should have left a minute ago - and that it was the last one to operate this route for 2 days - I would board and immediately thank the driver for waiting for the sorry spectacle of me gricing along as if I'd shit my pants. Knowing me, I'd probably apologise for delaying the driver. This tosser said nothing of the sort.
"You're going bloody early!" he said.
There was little point in my being polite to him considering his tone. No, he was one of these who thought that he was right no matter what. I was his servant and I was disobeying him. C U NextTuesday - quite literally, as that's when the next bus would have been if I'd not stopped.
Luckily the clock on the bus dashboard showed 1601, as did the clock on the ticket machine. I pointed these out to him without getting into an argument. I also offered him my mobile phone, on which was displayed the correct time - guess what it was? 1601.
Rather than accept defeat, knob head said "I've had a triple heart by-pass you know!"
Oh, does that account for your ignorance and bad attitude?
Of course it doesn't. In a move designed to show that he wasn't going to hold the service up anymore than he had done already, I pulled away with him stood at the front and issued his ticket while the vehicle was in motion. That ought to flex his aorta sufficiently.
Common Sense Solution: Passengers regularly run late for buses. It is a fact of life. You cannot change it and there is no point in attempting to. However, when a bus driver does stop for a passenger after leaving a stop - something vehemently frowned upon by the Driving Standards Agency and the Vehicle Operators Safety Agency - the least a driver expects is for the passenger to offer his or her thanks. I put myself in that passenger's shoes. I'd have thanked the driver, even if I felt he may have been departing early. He still did not have to stop and I reckon that when pressed, most bus operators would instruct their drivers NOT to stop for ANY passenger once they've left a stop.
He was an odd sight. I would describe him as a typical geeza, except this wanker was in his 40s and was mincing along. Very odd. Very camp. Perhaps he was one of these gays that I hear talk of. Whether he was or not was not made known to me. I can, though, reveal that he was a complete ignoramus.
Had I been the one running for a bus that should have left a minute ago - and that it was the last one to operate this route for 2 days - I would board and immediately thank the driver for waiting for the sorry spectacle of me gricing along as if I'd shit my pants. Knowing me, I'd probably apologise for delaying the driver. This tosser said nothing of the sort.
"You're going bloody early!" he said.
There was little point in my being polite to him considering his tone. No, he was one of these who thought that he was right no matter what. I was his servant and I was disobeying him. C U NextTuesday - quite literally, as that's when the next bus would have been if I'd not stopped.
Luckily the clock on the bus dashboard showed 1601, as did the clock on the ticket machine. I pointed these out to him without getting into an argument. I also offered him my mobile phone, on which was displayed the correct time - guess what it was? 1601.
Rather than accept defeat, knob head said "I've had a triple heart by-pass you know!"
Oh, does that account for your ignorance and bad attitude?
Of course it doesn't. In a move designed to show that he wasn't going to hold the service up anymore than he had done already, I pulled away with him stood at the front and issued his ticket while the vehicle was in motion. That ought to flex his aorta sufficiently.
Common Sense Solution: Passengers regularly run late for buses. It is a fact of life. You cannot change it and there is no point in attempting to. However, when a bus driver does stop for a passenger after leaving a stop - something vehemently frowned upon by the Driving Standards Agency and the Vehicle Operators Safety Agency - the least a driver expects is for the passenger to offer his or her thanks. I put myself in that passenger's shoes. I'd have thanked the driver, even if I felt he may have been departing early. He still did not have to stop and I reckon that when pressed, most bus operators would instruct their drivers NOT to stop for ANY passenger once they've left a stop.
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