Land Rover Drivers

Most of them are cunts.

It's that simple. A good example played out before me today, though unusually I won.

There's a narrow bit of road one of my routes passes along, where to historic buildings were built a little too close to each other to make a two-way section of route possible. So, the white line in the centre of the road ends and unusually there are no priority signs showing. Usually, one direction has priority over the other, but not this narrow gap.

My rule is surely the fairest - the first one at the gap has the right of way. Some bus drivers take the view that they're the largest so they have priority despite the oncoming vehicle reaching the gap just before they do. The bus driver will get into the centre of the road before he needs to, thus forcing the oncoming (usually smaller) vehicle to stop back.

Today I got to the gap before the oncoming cunt, sorry, Land Rover driver. As I aligned myself for the centre of the road, I became concerned that I was going to have a head-on collision as the oncoming cunt showed no sign of slowing down. On the phone? Texting? Reading a book? Re-filling his pipe? Extinguishing his tweed jacket? Who knows.

He was actually speeding up to get to the centre ground first. It's not as if there wasn't much in it. I wasn't sure what to do so stopped dead, right in the middle of the narrow bit. Cunt decided to stop, so no collision, and then he stopped leaving a gap the width of a Mini for me to pass through. So I chose to stay stationary. So did he.

Then he used both arms to gesture I just move out of his way. Picture the scene. The first 20 feet of my bus is through the narrow gap and in front of me, almost head on, is a cunt in a Land Rover telling me to get out of his way.

I adopted one of my favourite poses. Folded arms. If that doesn't have an effect after 10 seconds, then get some reading material out and place it on your steering wheel.

There then followed a lot of 'horn abuse' from said cunt as he realised I'd won and he'd lost. Back he went. But not much. Not enough even. I moved forward part-filling the gap he'd left. He had to go back some more, accompanied by more horn-blowing. This time I had sufficient room to pass. As I did there were more horn blasts as he screeched away.

Common Sense Solution: Anyone driving my bus at that time in that location would have been greeted with the scenario I did. Probably folding my arms and reading the paper while the impotent driver slowly realised that unusually his larger vehicle was not going to win this argument. It's a good idea not to get into confrontation with these people. You never know what might happen - some cunts have knives. Stand your ground and if your bus has CCTV mention it back at the depot as it can be downloaded and often shows in great clarity what the cunt tried to do. Often these cunts phone up and claim you've done something to them on par with rape.