College kids make me smile. Usually it's a wry smile, often followed by a shake of the head. Some are so thick it is unreal. As they unwittingly impersonate sloths, walking to the bus stop with their knuckles scraping the ground, I always think: "There people are expected to procreate; to bring new life into the world; to pretend Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy exist; to be able to perform simple accountancy and to provide for themselves and their family.
There's a ginger lad who fits the above bill very well and he occasionally catches one of our buses to the nearby college. I remember one of our drivers reporting that this arse hole spat at him a couple of years ago. You don't forget things like that - well I know I don't. I've never had problems with him, but I don't see him that much.
Anyway, he was stood at the wrong bus stop today and he spotted me at the last minute and came scraping across the road, assuming I knew he wanted to catch my bus. I did toy with the idea of simply ignoring him, but then I am in the business of carrying people. On he got and said "Return, yeah". So I gave him an adult return to the college. He gave me a £10 note. As I was giving him his change he said "£3.40? It's usually £3." The difference in fare is that one is for an under-18 and the other 18+.
If you look 18+ but are only 16 or 17, it would be a good idea to ask for an under-18 ticket, especially when you know the deal as you always travel with this particular bus company. We drivers are supposed to be psychic. We're told to always issue the adult fare unless the youth says otherwise. Asking everyone that gets on if they're under 18 is not my job, nor does it help keep the buses on time. When I told him that £3.40 was the fare, he replied with:
"Is that an under-18 fare?"
"No."
"Oh. Why?"
"Because you didn't ask for one."
He really was that thick. Often we can cancel the ticket and issue a correct one, but very unusually I wasn't prepared to do so and, besides, I reckon he was 18 anyway.
As he sat down I realised that I still had the £10 note he tendered in my hand and hadn't given him a £5 note in his change. He hadn't realised. We drove 10+ miles to the college and during that time I was having a mental discussion as to whether or not I should give him the fiver when he left. Had he not spat at one of my colleagues, I almost certainly would have, despite his manner. There are lots of things I'm not but I am fundamentally trustworthy and honest.
Anyway, as he got off her said really quietly: "Have you got my fiver?" He knew all along but didn't bother coming up to see me until now. I gave him the money and off he got.
Driving a bus back from the same college this evening, 2 female students boarded. 15 mins into the journey, one came to me and asked if I had a phone as she'd left her BlackBerry on the bench by the bus stop. I gave her my work phone (lots of free minutes). For the next 20 minutes she made numerous calls to people. She even asked me to return to the bus stop some miles away, so that she could see if her phone was still there.
When I said, regretfully, that I wasn't turning the bus round, she seemed very shocked indeed.
She was as thick as pig shit. He voice was monotone. She was clearly under-developed and in many ways I'm glad I was unable to hear her inane phone conversations to whoever it was she contacted.
But after she'd given me the work phone back and left the bus, I went through the call log to make sure she'd not been ringing any 0908 numbers. The dozy fucking cow had called 911 and 999.
Can you believe that? Emergency Services were called as she left her phone at a frigging bus stop. What planet was she on? How did this constitute an emergency? It was clearly one in her stupid little mind, but not in anyone else's. It is thought processes like this that illustrate beautifully what is wrong with society today.
This student was so self-centred that the loss of her phone meant far more to her than it should have done. In her mind, it was akin to finding her mother's lifeless body at the foot of the stairs. I was rather concerned I'd get into trouble as - don't forget - she'd called 911 and 999 from my work phone.
It was also telling that she'd called 911 before 999 - she clearly watches too many Amercian TV programmes.
A friend of mine answers 999 calls elsewhere in the country and she told me that too many calls to 999 can result in your phone being 'killed'.
Common Sense Solution: Sadly, there is little a lowly bus driver can do to reverse the paralysis that is evident in these two cases. Perhaps the best thing I can do is to try and remember that, although these examples are more representative than you'd think, there are others out there who are normal and well-adjusted.
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