Old lady got on today and saw some timetables on display near the ticket machine. They were bound loosely in an elastic band and a few passengers had helped themselves to a timetable throughout my time at the helm so far.
'Cynthia' decided to be critical for no apparent reason when she spied them:
"Oh, these look rather ominous!" she exhaled. "Are the bus times changing AGAIN?"
No they weren't. It was me being conscientious and placing timetables in the racks provided for your bloody convenience you dozy woman. Why didn't she simply ask if there'd been any changes to the bus times? Some people like to make their arrival felt and she was one of them - dressed in a tweed jacket and a silver spoon rammed down her gullet.
Course, in her desire to show how critical she was of further timetable alterations (there's usually one per year around September to reflect alterations to accommodate changes to journeys at school/college times) she pulled a great handful out of the display case and their elastic band.
To reply to her statement as she boarded, I just said: "No!" The sooner these sort of people know that you're having none of their verbal diarrhoea, they shut up. Try and converse sensibly and in a measured manner and they'll screw you over.
Equipped with the knowledge that, actually, she had no need for another timetable as nothing had changed, she then attempted to put them back in the slot and within their elastic band. Be it crippling arthritis or sheer incompetence, it took her an eternity.
I just waited and watched her grappling with senility. As did everyone else on the bus. I just hope they all thought the same as me.
Common Sense Solution: Rather than try and be cocky and create some kind of whirlwind entrance, choose to politely ask the driver whether there have been/is likely to be changes to the timetable, to which an equally polite response will be given.
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