So I was driving my favourite shift on Saturday. It's a rural duty and I'm out in the sticks on my own, with my meal break out there and the gap in service covered by another driver who does 1 round trip as part of his own shift. It is nice out here. People are much more pleasant and polite, though this is not our bread-and-butter work, unfortunately. We ply our trade in "shit-kicker" territory, as one of my friends would say.
But although people are much nicer out here, they're still thick.
I was travelling along a road with houses on the left and the speed limit is 40mph. I was travelling at 40mph and noticed a number of pedestrians on the path to the left, between my and the houses. Some were walking and some were conversing while stationary. Suddenly, one of these stationary conversers shoved their hand out to get me to stop. Instinctively I indicated to pull over and stopped.
I'd gone past them by about a bus length. There was no bus stop in this area, it is technically hail-and-ride - the term that fills bus drivers with dread as passengers simply cannot be trusted to stand in a safe location or to simply HAIL the bus.
All four of the stationary conversers headed towards the front of my bus. They all seemed pleasant enough, so I thought I'd start in the same manner:
"I don't suppose next time you could put your hand out a little earlier, could you?"
"We didn't think we needed to."
"You looked like you were just chatting or waiting to cross the road."
"No. We wanted to catch you. We even phoned the depot and they said it was hail and ride."
"Yes it is. But you need to put your arm out so that I know!"
"Oh right, we just thought you'd stop."
This group had done the right thing. They'd contacted my depot before travelling. They'd been correctly told that where they wanted to board has no fixed bus stops and so we employ hail and ride. Clearly no further discussion had taken place. These people had no idea what hail and ride meant. They didn't seem thick or particularly under-class. I issued them their tickets and they sat down.
As I drove on, I couldn't help thinking to myself what they must have thought when the depot told them it was hail and ride. All I could imagine is that they assumed it meant the bus driver would stop for anyone who was motionless on the path. If that was the case, I'd be stopping everywhere.
Common Sense Solution: Make hail-and-ride sections of route ILLEGAL. Local authorities should refuse to accept registration documents for tendered services that have hail and ride sections. Local authorities are equally at fault as many are responsible for bus stop infrastructure in their area and can't be arsed to splash out a few quid for bus stop flags and timetable cases. You don't have this attitude in the railways. Nor do you have this attitude in the large urban areas. That's where the money is so all parties actually give a toss.
Wednesday, 26 October 2011
Saturday, 22 October 2011
2p short
Sometimes a passenger does not have sufficient money on him to pay his fare. Our contract of employment clearly states that on these occasions he may not travel. There are no exceptions, not even for children. It is the responsibility for the minor's parent to ensure they have sufficient money to pay the bus driver. Not my words, but the words of my company. We are told to waive the above ruling on the last bus of the day and if the minor shows clear signs of distress.
One of the drivers at work was recently disciplined for not allowing a passenger to board when he was 2p short. A stinking letter has been written by the teen's disgruntled mother. He was summonsed to appear with representation before one of the managers. He reported that he was exonerated of all blame when it was pointed out that he followed procedure to-the-letter. It was not the last bus of the day and the college student showed no sign of distress.
What annoyed him and what made me put finger to keyboard is the comment put to him by the manager. He was told that he should have just let him off the 2p. This would have solved the issue. While this is clearly accurate, the driver would then have been 2p short in his takings and would have been stopped the 2p from his wages. The money is immaterial. The principle is everything. Giving a free ride and telling the student to keep all of his (insufficient) money is even more serious - gross misconduct, for which dismissal is likely.
At no point was the option of overriding the ticket machine mentioned. A specific key sequence enables the driver to key in the exact amount of money tendered and this is printed on the ticket. I've used this on many occasions. I've also made it known to one of the supervisors that I've done this as £1.68 is better than zero if the passenger is turned away for being 2p short of his £1.70 fare.
I'm going to continue doing it. This way, everyone is happy. Probably. The passenger travels and, more importantly, is issued with a ticket. The company also receives more money than it would if its own procedure was followed. My worry, though, is that I will still be severely disciplined for it. I think I should raise this officially and get written advice on a number of scenarios I shall put to them.
Sadly, this is an issue than no one at work gives a fuck about until it blows up in everyone's face. Then they care a lot and all hell can be let loose.
Common Sense Solution: If a passenger is 10p short of his fare it is surely better to issue a ticket for that amount and to allow travel than to turn the passenger away, receiving no money. If the passenger becomes a serial offender, this is another matter. But in most cases, the passenger is genuine. Large bus companies have very strict rules about their takings while in their drivers' hands yet refuse to offer guidance and advice on specific scenarios. If this issue is potentially so serious, they need to get real and issue unequivicable guidance that covers all situations.
One of the drivers at work was recently disciplined for not allowing a passenger to board when he was 2p short. A stinking letter has been written by the teen's disgruntled mother. He was summonsed to appear with representation before one of the managers. He reported that he was exonerated of all blame when it was pointed out that he followed procedure to-the-letter. It was not the last bus of the day and the college student showed no sign of distress.
What annoyed him and what made me put finger to keyboard is the comment put to him by the manager. He was told that he should have just let him off the 2p. This would have solved the issue. While this is clearly accurate, the driver would then have been 2p short in his takings and would have been stopped the 2p from his wages. The money is immaterial. The principle is everything. Giving a free ride and telling the student to keep all of his (insufficient) money is even more serious - gross misconduct, for which dismissal is likely.
At no point was the option of overriding the ticket machine mentioned. A specific key sequence enables the driver to key in the exact amount of money tendered and this is printed on the ticket. I've used this on many occasions. I've also made it known to one of the supervisors that I've done this as £1.68 is better than zero if the passenger is turned away for being 2p short of his £1.70 fare.
I'm going to continue doing it. This way, everyone is happy. Probably. The passenger travels and, more importantly, is issued with a ticket. The company also receives more money than it would if its own procedure was followed. My worry, though, is that I will still be severely disciplined for it. I think I should raise this officially and get written advice on a number of scenarios I shall put to them.
Sadly, this is an issue than no one at work gives a fuck about until it blows up in everyone's face. Then they care a lot and all hell can be let loose.
Common Sense Solution: If a passenger is 10p short of his fare it is surely better to issue a ticket for that amount and to allow travel than to turn the passenger away, receiving no money. If the passenger becomes a serial offender, this is another matter. But in most cases, the passenger is genuine. Large bus companies have very strict rules about their takings while in their drivers' hands yet refuse to offer guidance and advice on specific scenarios. If this issue is potentially so serious, they need to get real and issue unequivicable guidance that covers all situations.
Diversion
Today I made the unilateral decision to deviate from my prescribed bus route owing to a significant traffic jam due to temporary roads works. My diversion route would see me omit no bus stop and so no one would be inconvenienced in any way. Moreover, my actions would help ensure my passengers got to their destinations faster than would otherwise be the case.
I could have told everyone as they boarded that I would be making a slight detour en route, or even shouted it out as I was about to turn off, but I'm not really like that. The former would have seen scores of needless questions asked as I told each passenger and the latter is just oafish. I can't stand drivers who shout out loud. Also, those upstairs at the back won't hear and there'll be others who detect the driver shout something but won't have caught what it was exactly, so confusion is caused.
No sooner had I turned when I heard mutterings from behind. One elderly chap was getting very distressed. I was expecting comments, but not a grown man in tears, which was the ultimate outcome. A woman ventured forward and asked me if I knew I was going the wrong way.
"Oh my god! So I am. We're lost, what the fuck should I do?" I would love to have said. As it was I managed a more subtle: "Actually, I'm going the right way if you want to stand any chance of getting home on time".
It was a little sharp, but struck the balance well. Did she honestly think I had no idea what I was doing? Yes, occasionally a bus driver can make a wrong turn, but he or she will soon realise and 'about turn'. I was fundamentally heading in the right direction still, parallel to the road where the hold up was.
I'm surprised the silly old sod in tears knew where we were as he always seems a little ga-ga to me whenever he travels.
Anyway, 2 minutes behind schedule, I regained my normal route and normality ensued. Tissues were put away and the sobbing ended.
Common Sense Solution: Everyone is different is a phrase often banded about our depot. Aint that the case! A small detour on an urban bus route is nothing out of the ordinary. A guy in his 80s bursting into tears because he thinks he's being abducted is.
I could have told everyone as they boarded that I would be making a slight detour en route, or even shouted it out as I was about to turn off, but I'm not really like that. The former would have seen scores of needless questions asked as I told each passenger and the latter is just oafish. I can't stand drivers who shout out loud. Also, those upstairs at the back won't hear and there'll be others who detect the driver shout something but won't have caught what it was exactly, so confusion is caused.
No sooner had I turned when I heard mutterings from behind. One elderly chap was getting very distressed. I was expecting comments, but not a grown man in tears, which was the ultimate outcome. A woman ventured forward and asked me if I knew I was going the wrong way.
"Oh my god! So I am. We're lost, what the fuck should I do?" I would love to have said. As it was I managed a more subtle: "Actually, I'm going the right way if you want to stand any chance of getting home on time".
It was a little sharp, but struck the balance well. Did she honestly think I had no idea what I was doing? Yes, occasionally a bus driver can make a wrong turn, but he or she will soon realise and 'about turn'. I was fundamentally heading in the right direction still, parallel to the road where the hold up was.
I'm surprised the silly old sod in tears knew where we were as he always seems a little ga-ga to me whenever he travels.
Anyway, 2 minutes behind schedule, I regained my normal route and normality ensued. Tissues were put away and the sobbing ended.
Common Sense Solution: Everyone is different is a phrase often banded about our depot. Aint that the case! A small detour on an urban bus route is nothing out of the ordinary. A guy in his 80s bursting into tears because he thinks he's being abducted is.
Thursday, 13 October 2011
How much?
Some people with a free bus pass are not allowed to use them before 0930 on weekdays, as this is the basic legislation, that was introduced in 2007. One old lady boarded my bus this morning at 9am and asked to go to a town 12 miles away. She didn't produce a pass and argue the toss about how badly done to she is that she has to pay. Instead she put a £2 coin on the cash top. The fare was £2.90.
She was so annoyed at how extortionate the fare was, I thought she was going to smack me, at one point. She went absolutely mental.
£2.90 for 12 miles equates to 24p per mile. I'd like to see anyone who uses a car to beat that, when all costs are considered. This woman wasn't known to me, so I suspect she doesn't often have to make this journey, if at all.
Her perception was that £2 was 'about right' for the 12 miles. She did ask if £2.90 was the return fare. Sadly not, that is a fair amount more. She was probably returning for free, after 0930, legitimately using her bus pass.
Anyway, I got the extra 90p out of her and all was well... for me. She was absolutely sickened.
Common Sense Solution: People rate value for money differently to others. Bus fares are no different. 12 miles on a train would cost double the fare I was requesting her to tender. Would she have caused a scene there? 24p per mile may not offer 'exceptional' value for money, but compared to a taxi (I reckon you're looking at £20) or the actual cost of using a car for that specific journey (building in tax, insurance, MOT, depreciation, fuel) the saving is enormous. Would this woman have caused the scene she did had the free bus pass scheme not have been introduced? I suspect not.
She was so annoyed at how extortionate the fare was, I thought she was going to smack me, at one point. She went absolutely mental.
£2.90 for 12 miles equates to 24p per mile. I'd like to see anyone who uses a car to beat that, when all costs are considered. This woman wasn't known to me, so I suspect she doesn't often have to make this journey, if at all.
Her perception was that £2 was 'about right' for the 12 miles. She did ask if £2.90 was the return fare. Sadly not, that is a fair amount more. She was probably returning for free, after 0930, legitimately using her bus pass.
Anyway, I got the extra 90p out of her and all was well... for me. She was absolutely sickened.
Common Sense Solution: People rate value for money differently to others. Bus fares are no different. 12 miles on a train would cost double the fare I was requesting her to tender. Would she have caused a scene there? 24p per mile may not offer 'exceptional' value for money, but compared to a taxi (I reckon you're looking at £20) or the actual cost of using a car for that specific journey (building in tax, insurance, MOT, depreciation, fuel) the saving is enormous. Would this woman have caused the scene she did had the free bus pass scheme not have been introduced? I suspect not.
Wednesday, 12 October 2011
The Ginger Thug & the Retard
College kids make me smile. Usually it's a wry smile, often followed by a shake of the head. Some are so thick it is unreal. As they unwittingly impersonate sloths, walking to the bus stop with their knuckles scraping the ground, I always think: "There people are expected to procreate; to bring new life into the world; to pretend Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy exist; to be able to perform simple accountancy and to provide for themselves and their family.
There's a ginger lad who fits the above bill very well and he occasionally catches one of our buses to the nearby college. I remember one of our drivers reporting that this arse hole spat at him a couple of years ago. You don't forget things like that - well I know I don't. I've never had problems with him, but I don't see him that much.
Anyway, he was stood at the wrong bus stop today and he spotted me at the last minute and came scraping across the road, assuming I knew he wanted to catch my bus. I did toy with the idea of simply ignoring him, but then I am in the business of carrying people. On he got and said "Return, yeah". So I gave him an adult return to the college. He gave me a £10 note. As I was giving him his change he said "£3.40? It's usually £3." The difference in fare is that one is for an under-18 and the other 18+.
If you look 18+ but are only 16 or 17, it would be a good idea to ask for an under-18 ticket, especially when you know the deal as you always travel with this particular bus company. We drivers are supposed to be psychic. We're told to always issue the adult fare unless the youth says otherwise. Asking everyone that gets on if they're under 18 is not my job, nor does it help keep the buses on time. When I told him that £3.40 was the fare, he replied with:
"Is that an under-18 fare?"
"No."
"Oh. Why?"
"Because you didn't ask for one."
He really was that thick. Often we can cancel the ticket and issue a correct one, but very unusually I wasn't prepared to do so and, besides, I reckon he was 18 anyway.
As he sat down I realised that I still had the £10 note he tendered in my hand and hadn't given him a £5 note in his change. He hadn't realised. We drove 10+ miles to the college and during that time I was having a mental discussion as to whether or not I should give him the fiver when he left. Had he not spat at one of my colleagues, I almost certainly would have, despite his manner. There are lots of things I'm not but I am fundamentally trustworthy and honest.
Anyway, as he got off her said really quietly: "Have you got my fiver?" He knew all along but didn't bother coming up to see me until now. I gave him the money and off he got.
Driving a bus back from the same college this evening, 2 female students boarded. 15 mins into the journey, one came to me and asked if I had a phone as she'd left her BlackBerry on the bench by the bus stop. I gave her my work phone (lots of free minutes). For the next 20 minutes she made numerous calls to people. She even asked me to return to the bus stop some miles away, so that she could see if her phone was still there.
When I said, regretfully, that I wasn't turning the bus round, she seemed very shocked indeed.
She was as thick as pig shit. He voice was monotone. She was clearly under-developed and in many ways I'm glad I was unable to hear her inane phone conversations to whoever it was she contacted.
But after she'd given me the work phone back and left the bus, I went through the call log to make sure she'd not been ringing any 0908 numbers. The dozy fucking cow had called 911 and 999.
Can you believe that? Emergency Services were called as she left her phone at a frigging bus stop. What planet was she on? How did this constitute an emergency? It was clearly one in her stupid little mind, but not in anyone else's. It is thought processes like this that illustrate beautifully what is wrong with society today.
This student was so self-centred that the loss of her phone meant far more to her than it should have done. In her mind, it was akin to finding her mother's lifeless body at the foot of the stairs. I was rather concerned I'd get into trouble as - don't forget - she'd called 911 and 999 from my work phone.
It was also telling that she'd called 911 before 999 - she clearly watches too many Amercian TV programmes.
A friend of mine answers 999 calls elsewhere in the country and she told me that too many calls to 999 can result in your phone being 'killed'.
Common Sense Solution: Sadly, there is little a lowly bus driver can do to reverse the paralysis that is evident in these two cases. Perhaps the best thing I can do is to try and remember that, although these examples are more representative than you'd think, there are others out there who are normal and well-adjusted.
There's a ginger lad who fits the above bill very well and he occasionally catches one of our buses to the nearby college. I remember one of our drivers reporting that this arse hole spat at him a couple of years ago. You don't forget things like that - well I know I don't. I've never had problems with him, but I don't see him that much.
Anyway, he was stood at the wrong bus stop today and he spotted me at the last minute and came scraping across the road, assuming I knew he wanted to catch my bus. I did toy with the idea of simply ignoring him, but then I am in the business of carrying people. On he got and said "Return, yeah". So I gave him an adult return to the college. He gave me a £10 note. As I was giving him his change he said "£3.40? It's usually £3." The difference in fare is that one is for an under-18 and the other 18+.
If you look 18+ but are only 16 or 17, it would be a good idea to ask for an under-18 ticket, especially when you know the deal as you always travel with this particular bus company. We drivers are supposed to be psychic. We're told to always issue the adult fare unless the youth says otherwise. Asking everyone that gets on if they're under 18 is not my job, nor does it help keep the buses on time. When I told him that £3.40 was the fare, he replied with:
"Is that an under-18 fare?"
"No."
"Oh. Why?"
"Because you didn't ask for one."
He really was that thick. Often we can cancel the ticket and issue a correct one, but very unusually I wasn't prepared to do so and, besides, I reckon he was 18 anyway.
As he sat down I realised that I still had the £10 note he tendered in my hand and hadn't given him a £5 note in his change. He hadn't realised. We drove 10+ miles to the college and during that time I was having a mental discussion as to whether or not I should give him the fiver when he left. Had he not spat at one of my colleagues, I almost certainly would have, despite his manner. There are lots of things I'm not but I am fundamentally trustworthy and honest.
Anyway, as he got off her said really quietly: "Have you got my fiver?" He knew all along but didn't bother coming up to see me until now. I gave him the money and off he got.
Driving a bus back from the same college this evening, 2 female students boarded. 15 mins into the journey, one came to me and asked if I had a phone as she'd left her BlackBerry on the bench by the bus stop. I gave her my work phone (lots of free minutes). For the next 20 minutes she made numerous calls to people. She even asked me to return to the bus stop some miles away, so that she could see if her phone was still there.
When I said, regretfully, that I wasn't turning the bus round, she seemed very shocked indeed.
She was as thick as pig shit. He voice was monotone. She was clearly under-developed and in many ways I'm glad I was unable to hear her inane phone conversations to whoever it was she contacted.
But after she'd given me the work phone back and left the bus, I went through the call log to make sure she'd not been ringing any 0908 numbers. The dozy fucking cow had called 911 and 999.
Can you believe that? Emergency Services were called as she left her phone at a frigging bus stop. What planet was she on? How did this constitute an emergency? It was clearly one in her stupid little mind, but not in anyone else's. It is thought processes like this that illustrate beautifully what is wrong with society today.
This student was so self-centred that the loss of her phone meant far more to her than it should have done. In her mind, it was akin to finding her mother's lifeless body at the foot of the stairs. I was rather concerned I'd get into trouble as - don't forget - she'd called 911 and 999 from my work phone.
It was also telling that she'd called 911 before 999 - she clearly watches too many Amercian TV programmes.
A friend of mine answers 999 calls elsewhere in the country and she told me that too many calls to 999 can result in your phone being 'killed'.
Common Sense Solution: Sadly, there is little a lowly bus driver can do to reverse the paralysis that is evident in these two cases. Perhaps the best thing I can do is to try and remember that, although these examples are more representative than you'd think, there are others out there who are normal and well-adjusted.
Thursday, 6 October 2011
Just Desserts
We bus drivers can, occasionally, get our own back on certain passengers who have caused us grief over the past few weeks/months/years. They're tiny victories but victories nonetheless.
Today I got one over on a particularly miserable, rude and ignorant OAP. It was pissing down with rain in a Force 8 gale and she asked me to go slightly past the bus stop and drop her outside her house. I declined the 'offer'.
"Well that's funny, all the other drivers reckon to when it's raining!"
Not me, flower. Perhaps if you said 'thank you' occasionally when leaving my bus or greeted me with a smile from time to time, I'd be more obliging. As it is, you don't so I'm not.
Naturally I kept these thoughts to myself, but took great delight in seeing her become a drowned rat within seconds.
I know some of my colleagues wouldn't do it for anyone, so to suggest everyone else did it is rather disingenuous to say the least.
Common Sense Solution: Officially, bus companies would rather their drivers not 'ad lib' as it were, and stick rigidly to the stops. If one OAP sees this, you can be sure another on board will want the same treatment. Also, the first OAP could come to expect this 'personal' touch, which delays the service somewhat. The woman in today's tale of woe would have possibly expected me to drop her outside her door when it was a bit chilly outside next. As I've oft-lamented, CONSISTENCY is the order of the day.
Today I got one over on a particularly miserable, rude and ignorant OAP. It was pissing down with rain in a Force 8 gale and she asked me to go slightly past the bus stop and drop her outside her house. I declined the 'offer'.
"Well that's funny, all the other drivers reckon to when it's raining!"
Not me, flower. Perhaps if you said 'thank you' occasionally when leaving my bus or greeted me with a smile from time to time, I'd be more obliging. As it is, you don't so I'm not.
Naturally I kept these thoughts to myself, but took great delight in seeing her become a drowned rat within seconds.
I know some of my colleagues wouldn't do it for anyone, so to suggest everyone else did it is rather disingenuous to say the least.
Common Sense Solution: Officially, bus companies would rather their drivers not 'ad lib' as it were, and stick rigidly to the stops. If one OAP sees this, you can be sure another on board will want the same treatment. Also, the first OAP could come to expect this 'personal' touch, which delays the service somewhat. The woman in today's tale of woe would have possibly expected me to drop her outside her door when it was a bit chilly outside next. As I've oft-lamented, CONSISTENCY is the order of the day.
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