We operate a college days-only service from a large village miles away from our traditional operating area, to a college within it. This large village is only served once by my company, with this solitary journey to coincide with college opening and closing times. Consequently, we come across people who have never travelled on our services before.
One such individual tried to board yesterday morning with music playing out loud from one of the pockets in his tracky bottoms. "Can you turn the music off, please?" I said as he asked for his fare.
He obliged and sat downstairs at the back with his possy. I left the village a couple of minutes later and, what a surprise, the music started. I shouted down the bus: "CAN YOU TURN THE MUSIC OFF PLEASE?" and there was immediate silence. Ten minutes later, he got brave again and it started up.
This time I did something he wasn't expecting and left the cab and wandered down the back of the bus. I used a tactic that has worked very successfully before: allege that he has a problem with you, to reinforce that you're the hard-done-to party.
"Do you have a problem with me?" I asked, as he fumbled with his phone to turn the music off.
"I said, do you have a problem with me?"
"Eh?"
"Well I've asked you twice to turn your music off and you've not got the hint, so now I'm telling you to your face to turn it off. What more can I do?"
He mumbled some inaudible bollocks and silence prevailed. To show I'm not a complete bastard, just a slight one, I added: "Plug some headphones in and there won't be a problem."
He needs educating in the ways of my bus company. Nip this anti-socialism in the bud. If you don't, those who get on the bus within our traditional operating area will soon assume music being played out loud is permitted. And then you've got yet another example of deterioration of society taking place.
Common Sense Solution: You have to show these dick heads how it is going to be. You also rely on your colleagues to do the same. Sadly, I know mine aren't as keen on this sort of thing as I am. It would be far easier to enforce if they were.
Thursday 29 September 2011
'NS'
I despair of some passengers, I really do. This tattooed thug sat for over an hour waiting for a bus on Saturday that didn't operate. During the time he was sat he was next to a timetable - fully in date and clear for all to see. He hadn't even bothered to look at it. I was heading in the opposite direction at 0800, when he tagged onto the end of my people.
"Oi mate! When's the next bus to [town A]?"
"You can't catch one from here on a Saturday!" said I
"Course you can, I catch it every day!" he replied
Well obviously he doesn't. He looked like he was going to work on a building site and I've never seen him before. A bus does operate from where he was waiting at 0700 on Mondays to Fridays, but not at any other time. This can be easily identified on the Monday to Saturday timetable as there is 'NS' at the top of the column. Looking at the codes at the foot of the table, 'NS' means 'Not Saturdays'.
Simples.
Clearly too complicated for some. I just cannot fathom why ANYONE would sit for an hour, adjacent to a timetable, and not look at it once. Thick as shit.
I committed gross misconduct and gave him a free ride to somewhere where he could intercept a bus to his destination. He did thank me, I will admit that, and as I drove away with him on board, he stood in the area where the wheelchair goes. One of his friends boarded at the next stop and I heard him communicating with him.
"It's an absolute fucking joke!" he exclaimed. He was reasonably polite to me, but to a friend, he was letting his true feelings be shown.
"Yes it is an absolute fucking joke!" I remember thinking to myself, "How someone can even consider it to be anyone's fault other than their own for waiting for a bus that does not and has not ever operated on a Saturday".
Common Sense Solution: Buses are sometimes the victim of their success. High-frequency services extol the virtues of not needing a timetable and some people extend this to lesser services. This guy had clearly only just started catching the 0700 bus that week and didn't bother to check that there was no alteration on a Saturday morning. The fault was his and his alone. Countless examples of this type must take place up and down the country every day. Drivers just have to deal with it in their own inimitable way.
"Oi mate! When's the next bus to [town A]?"
"You can't catch one from here on a Saturday!" said I
"Course you can, I catch it every day!" he replied
Well obviously he doesn't. He looked like he was going to work on a building site and I've never seen him before. A bus does operate from where he was waiting at 0700 on Mondays to Fridays, but not at any other time. This can be easily identified on the Monday to Saturday timetable as there is 'NS' at the top of the column. Looking at the codes at the foot of the table, 'NS' means 'Not Saturdays'.
Simples.
Clearly too complicated for some. I just cannot fathom why ANYONE would sit for an hour, adjacent to a timetable, and not look at it once. Thick as shit.
I committed gross misconduct and gave him a free ride to somewhere where he could intercept a bus to his destination. He did thank me, I will admit that, and as I drove away with him on board, he stood in the area where the wheelchair goes. One of his friends boarded at the next stop and I heard him communicating with him.
"It's an absolute fucking joke!" he exclaimed. He was reasonably polite to me, but to a friend, he was letting his true feelings be shown.
"Yes it is an absolute fucking joke!" I remember thinking to myself, "How someone can even consider it to be anyone's fault other than their own for waiting for a bus that does not and has not ever operated on a Saturday".
Common Sense Solution: Buses are sometimes the victim of their success. High-frequency services extol the virtues of not needing a timetable and some people extend this to lesser services. This guy had clearly only just started catching the 0700 bus that week and didn't bother to check that there was no alteration on a Saturday morning. The fault was his and his alone. Countless examples of this type must take place up and down the country every day. Drivers just have to deal with it in their own inimitable way.
Friday 16 September 2011
The Other Driver
This term is uttered almost weekly to bus drivers. It is usually announced by a passenger when they have been told they cannot get their own way. "Well the other driver lets me get off here" or "Well the other driver never has a problem with a £20 at 6am" or "Well the other driver always lets me get on in between stops."
Not dissimilar to rocking horse shit, The Other Driver does not exist.
I had an incident this morning in which The Other Driver managed to issue a ticket that it is impossible to do. A guy boarded in town and wanted to go 15 minutes to a suburb. The fare: £2.90.
"The other driver only charged me £1.90 on Monday," he said.
Oh did he now. We do not do a £1.90 fare and the ticket type this chap wanted cannot be overridden, either. Now, like all of us from time to time, he was simply mistaken, except this guy wasn't willing to accept this: "I think £2.90 is very expensive!" I replied, "Well that's the fare."
"Well how far will £1.90 get me?" About 2 stops within the town centre, was the reply.
The passenger coughed up the extortionate £2.90 and sat down. Calm then ruled supreme.
Common Sense Solution: You need to be firm. Tell the passenger if no such fare exists. Don't give in. Consistency is key. The Other Driver will be sure to get a mention, but remember that he or she is an illusive figure - a figment of their imagination, a justification of their verbal diarrhoea.
Not dissimilar to rocking horse shit, The Other Driver does not exist.
I had an incident this morning in which The Other Driver managed to issue a ticket that it is impossible to do. A guy boarded in town and wanted to go 15 minutes to a suburb. The fare: £2.90.
"The other driver only charged me £1.90 on Monday," he said.
Oh did he now. We do not do a £1.90 fare and the ticket type this chap wanted cannot be overridden, either. Now, like all of us from time to time, he was simply mistaken, except this guy wasn't willing to accept this: "I think £2.90 is very expensive!" I replied, "Well that's the fare."
"Well how far will £1.90 get me?" About 2 stops within the town centre, was the reply.
The passenger coughed up the extortionate £2.90 and sat down. Calm then ruled supreme.
Common Sense Solution: You need to be firm. Tell the passenger if no such fare exists. Don't give in. Consistency is key. The Other Driver will be sure to get a mention, but remember that he or she is an illusive figure - a figment of their imagination, a justification of their verbal diarrhoea.
Friday 2 September 2011
Quite Extraordinary!
I pulled up at a bus stop in one of the suburbs yesterday lunch time and had a 'verbal altercation' with a chav over the price of the bus fare. This is nothing new in itself, but the detail was quite extraordinary.
He boarded all agitated and bouncing on his Reebok Classics. He asked for his fare - a day ticket, costing £3.00. I said "Three pounds please". He put two pound coins on the table top. "It's three quid, mate." I said, adding the common touch.
He looked at me, still hopping about, and shook his head. In a deep, croaky, chav-like voice he said: "Yeah mate I know it is. You just said two quid, yeah?"
I said three pounds. The ticket machine said three pounds. The ticket had three pounds printed on it. He's probably bought a day ticket for three pounds on countless occasions like everyone else.
"Well I said three pounds" I said.
"Nah, mate, you said two pounds innit".
Now it could be possible that he mis-heard me. If I knew what a fare was and someone said it was less than that, I'd tender what I was being asked. But if I mis-heard, I'd ask for clarification, not argue the toss.
"Look mate, I'm not fucking stupid, know what ah mean?" He put a load of 20p and 10p coins down and walked off.
As luck should have it, this little lot totalled £1.10, so he had in fact tendered £3.10. I couldn't help shouting back: "There's too much here, don't you want your change?" There was no reply. "I thought you're not stupid."
So after all that he effectively gave me a tip of 10p. I made sure I removed it from the takings so that when I paid in at the end of the day, my money was exactly right.
Common Sense Solution: It's simply a case of manners. Some people have none. They are often high on drugs or alcohol. They do not care for anyone else, other than themselves. They are incapable of moderating their behaviour in different circumstances. I try not to be too pessimistic, but matters have got significantly worse over the years I've been bus driving. There are much bigger questions about society that the government needs to address, though sadly whatever half-hearted measures are taken, will fail as our human and civil rights legislation inadvertently protects these wankers.
He boarded all agitated and bouncing on his Reebok Classics. He asked for his fare - a day ticket, costing £3.00. I said "Three pounds please". He put two pound coins on the table top. "It's three quid, mate." I said, adding the common touch.
He looked at me, still hopping about, and shook his head. In a deep, croaky, chav-like voice he said: "Yeah mate I know it is. You just said two quid, yeah?"
I said three pounds. The ticket machine said three pounds. The ticket had three pounds printed on it. He's probably bought a day ticket for three pounds on countless occasions like everyone else.
"Well I said three pounds" I said.
"Nah, mate, you said two pounds innit".
Now it could be possible that he mis-heard me. If I knew what a fare was and someone said it was less than that, I'd tender what I was being asked. But if I mis-heard, I'd ask for clarification, not argue the toss.
"Look mate, I'm not fucking stupid, know what ah mean?" He put a load of 20p and 10p coins down and walked off.
As luck should have it, this little lot totalled £1.10, so he had in fact tendered £3.10. I couldn't help shouting back: "There's too much here, don't you want your change?" There was no reply. "I thought you're not stupid."
So after all that he effectively gave me a tip of 10p. I made sure I removed it from the takings so that when I paid in at the end of the day, my money was exactly right.
Common Sense Solution: It's simply a case of manners. Some people have none. They are often high on drugs or alcohol. They do not care for anyone else, other than themselves. They are incapable of moderating their behaviour in different circumstances. I try not to be too pessimistic, but matters have got significantly worse over the years I've been bus driving. There are much bigger questions about society that the government needs to address, though sadly whatever half-hearted measures are taken, will fail as our human and civil rights legislation inadvertently protects these wankers.
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